A Texas -sized pickup game

A Texas sized pickup game

Recently Dan the Man made a business trip to Dallas to promote his company’s services. Of course, one can make the argument that he really came to Dallas to play in his old pickup game and that his sales calls were just a side effect of his true motive to get his hoop on. As a bonus, BC made the trip to Dallas from Austin to see his old pal Krow and also to show Sabin some of his deadly pickup craft. I was glad to have both of these fine fellows as part of one of the truly outstanding and mediocre pickup games in the country. The following summarizes each player’s performance in the recent pickup game as we inch closer to go time in Scottsdale.

1)     Dan was nothing short of terrific. Maybe it was the fact that he felt comfortable playing with his old friends in Plano or maybe it was the fact that the pickup game was specifically organized on his behalf. But whatever the case, Dan was deadly in the midrange, handled and passed with precision, defended with competence and enthusiasm, and displayed the kind of conditioning that is normally reserved for Scott Donley. He also led his team to 6 consecutive victories to open the session. If I were to extrapolate his pickup performance with a PCTI performance, it would project to something like 8.5ppg, 5.5rpg, 4.0apg, and 2.0spg with solid defense and leadership. He was the best player on his team which included a couple of flat-out ballplayers. Yet, I’m not alone in thinking that Dan has pulled this trick before where he dominates pickup games in which PCTI members participate, but then leaves something on the table in his PCTI performances. As for the author, I think this is the year that Dan converts “pickup Danny” into “PCTI Danny”. An all-tournament berth could be in his future if he can make the conversion.

2)     Like some of his recent PCTI performances, BC produced a bit of an uneven performance in the pickup session as he had moments where he tantalized with tremendous basketball ability and other moments where he looked uncomfortable. This is understandable as he travelled 4 hours for the pickup session and played the same day, but also that he was guarded by a 6’8” Kirilenkoesque defender for much of the session. That notwithstanding, he showed the ability to knock down the 3 ball and midrange jumper, increasing his legend as PCTI’s original stretch 4. He also displayed excellent conditioning as he played something like 9 or 10 pickup games in succession. My favorite moment though was BC leading his fellow Tennessee natives in a stretching session after the games had concluded. This must be why he is so flexible.

3)     As for me, I did not produce my best basketball until the session had nearly concluded. Since Dan and BC were in town, I really wanted to show well and was probably pressing the first few games. I was also playing with 4 other guys who were not versed in the time-tested fundamentals of basketball success like shooting, passing, dribbling, and defending. So that certainly did not help my cause on an individual level nor did it help our collective team cause. But about 7 games in, I finally did some things to help my squad be more competitive like shooting and creating with some efficiency. Although Dan and BC’s team owned the night, I felt like my conditioning was sufficient to be able to help my team for a full 7 game PCTI series.

True story: As with almost every pickup session, we were in need of hydration after the pickup session. I told the fellas I would grab us some Gatorades from the local convenience store. BC was extremely accommodating, saying “Any flavor will do.” That was something I appreciated since I like simplicity. However, Dan the Man made the awkward request “I’ll take a Coconut Water instead of a Gatorade”, seemingly oblivious to the fact that said beverage is a novelty item and not sold at most outlets. After channeling my inner Indiana Jones and searching for this extremely rare artifact for something like 6 or 7 minutes, I gave up and purchased him a Gatorade like that of me and BC. As I presented these two with their hydration, BC was pleased with the selection while DK seemed disappointed that I could not produce the desired outcome.

Moral of the Story: If you’re rollin’ with DK to hoop, bring some coconut water with you.

The draft in pictures

One of my great regrets in life is that I was unable to attend the recent PCTI IV draft. From the videos produced, it seemed like a good time was had by all. So my contribution to the draft this year will simply be my thought pictures beside each draftees name:

1) Abe. Perhaps PCTI's best approximation of a sure thing. Puts up numbers on the court and notches on the bedpost.

 

 

 

2) BC. Bambi has come under a lot of fire this offseason for his unnecessary offensive at the Beas and his simmering rivalry with Eskildsen. Methinks that these motivations will allow Bambi to return to his rightful place as King of the PCTI Forest.

 

 

3) Cockstrong. A deserving second round pick although some argue he went one spot too low. PCTI's Barry White gives you points, boards, defense, and conditioning. Best swordplay in PCTI history.

 

 

4) Beas. Maybe the only guy who can give Abe a run for his money with the ladies. Great teammate and ballplayer parlayed a terrific Game 4 outburst last year into a second round pick this year. Remains to be seen how the ladies man will perform under the weight of expectations.

5) Pitto. WTF? I thought Skilly could've made this pick in the 7th round, but how can I begrudge anyone else for poor drafting when I set the gold standard for poor drafting just 12 months prior?

6) Sabin. When Cap used this pick on me, I knew the hatchet was buried between us and we could use all of our energy to make Joe the only 4-0 player in PCTI history. #loyalsoldier

 

 

7) Ben Wilson. Yes, I believe Big Ben will rise from the ashes just like another famous bearded man 2000 years ago. You're damn right I went there.

8) Dan the Man Krow. Honestly, who doesn't want this guy on his team?

 

 

9) BMac. Flyin Bryan seems to be the perpetual breakout star in PCTI. Seems to have moments in each PCTI where you think he is a top player, but sustainability is the issue. Maybe home cooking will do the trick in IV.

 

 

 

10) Spotlight. This guy has reached legendary superhero status in a single PCTI appearance. Never has a legend risen so high or so fast behind the strength of a 6 point, 2 board performance. #Intangibles

 

 

 

11) Bruise. Honestly, there was a part of me that was glad Bruise was drafted this low because it can only mean trouble for the other team. If we see PCTI II Bruiser in IV, Team Eskildsen's reincarnation could have a long day at the office. Get' em Bruise.

 

 

 

12) Hops. Of the handful of guys that detest me in PCTI, Hops is clearly my favorite. Guy is a good dude, solid ballplayer, and I always enjoy seeing him. However, refusal to train in the offseason has allowed last 2 guarded opponents to win an MVP award and to set a league scoring record, respectively.

 

 

 

13) Smo. Showed flashes of brilliance in PCTI III, especially with the 14 and 7 he slapped up in Game 2 last year. But world-record fouling got him out of rhythm for the rest of the tournament. Huge value pick here.

 

 

 

14) Wes. I still remember the guy from PCTI I who slapped up a 19 point effort on a bum ankle. But if I'm being honest, that seems like a long time ago. Here's hoping that Wes bounces back in a big way in IV and returns to PCTI relevance.

 

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving From The Real Actor of PCTI

I was funneling through some pic monies since there is nothing better to do in Shittsville, and stumbled upon my first acting sequence as 1988 "WWF Wrestling Fan of the Month."

The announcer brings up a great point.  Maybe I should have become a wrestler?

Morale of the vid stick: Moving forward, refer to me as Dangerous Danny Krow.

You Laugh, You Lose

A buddy sent me this the other day and Donley (the coolest guy I know, btw) said that I reminded him of Ibrahim Moizoos.  I take this as a compliment, as Ibrahim obviously had the tools to make it to the prestigious East/West bowl.  Perhaps this was a subconscious attempt by the #3 overall pick to wake me up and help me rediscover the tools within me that allowed me to make it to two All-PCTI teams in years 1 and 2.  We'll leave this mystery up to Matlock for now...

PS- My faves are Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz, D'Glester Hardunkichud, D'Squarius Green Jr, and Ozamataz Buckshank (B-EZ have you seen him on campus?)

PCTI Portfolio Review

This post came at a bad time since most stocks did poorly yesterday. If I would have done this right around the Live Draft, it would have been even more impressive. This is something I knew I wanted to do as soon as Toucan Dan the Froot Loops Man made his post at the beginning of last year Comparison Between PCTI Investment and Cash's Portfolio. If you don’t remember click here for the link, but the summary was 6 stocks that Fruit Dude thought would be a good investment and how they compare to some of the expenses we concur in PCTI.

For some reason Fruit put in his current company (ConAgra) at the end. Here is a breakdown of all 7 stocks (in the order he ranked them) from when he wrote the post (Jan 10) until yesterday’s close (11/14):

Rate	Stock	Price 1/10	Price 11/15	Change	%	High	High Date
1	Citi [C]	30	35.02	5.02	16.73%	38.47	6-Nov
2	Apple [AAPL]	423.24	536.88	113.64	26.85%	702.1	19-Sep
3	Verizon [VZ]	38.57	42.24	3.67	9.52%	47.26	4-Oct
4	Howard Hughes [HHC]	47.34	67.72	20.38	43.05%	73.88	5-Oct
5	Proctor Gamble [PG]	64.04	66.53	2.49	3.89%	70.07	25-Oct
6	ConAgra [CAG]	26.97	27.68	0.71	2.63%	28.76	18-Oct
7	General Electric [GE]	18.88	20.01	1.13	5.99%	23.12	8-Oct

This is truly incredible when you look at the Dow Jones and S&P 500, two very well know indices, over the same amount of time:

Rate	Stock	Price 1/10	Price 11/15	Change	%	High	High Date
1	Dow Jones	12,463	12571	108.32	0.87%	13611	5-Oct
2	S&P 500	1292.4	1355.5	63.08	4.88%	1466	14-Sep

Fruit Man’s 7 stocks raised an average of 15.52%. This is an awesome number, especially when you factor out ConAgra which was just a throw in. In fact it’s even better since he ranked them for us. Let’s say you have $10,000 to invest and you thought since everything that happens in PCTI is gold, you would put that money in to these stocks. Here is an example if you spread it out evenly ($1,428) over all 7 stocks.

Rate	Stock	Shares	Cost 1/10	Sold Today	Change
1	Citi [C]	48	1440	1681	240.96
2	Apple [AAPL]	3	1269.7	1610.6	340.92
3	Verizon [VZ]	37	1427.1	1562.9	135.79
4	Howard Hughes [HHC]	30	1420.2	2031.6	611.4
5	Proctor Gamble [PG]	22	1408.9	1463.7	54.78
6	ConAgra [CAG]	53	1429.4	1467	37.63
7	General Electric [GE]	76	1434.9	1520.8	85.88
	Total	269	9830.2	11338	1507.36

You would have made $1500 since January. Now let me take it one step further and show you if you took that $10k and spread it out according to his rankings.

Rate	Stock	% of 10k	Shares	Cost 1/10	Sold Today	Change
1	Citi [C]	25%	83	2490	2906.66	416.7
2	Apple [AAPL]	25%	6	2539.4	3221.28	681.8
3	Verizon [VZ]	15%	39	1504.2	1647.36	143.1
4	Howard Hughes [HHC]	15%	32	1514.9	2167.04	652.2
5	Proctor Gamble [PG]	10%	15	960.6	997.95	37.35
6	ConAgra [CAG]	5%	18	485.46	498.24	12.78
7	General Electric [GE]	5%	26	490.88	520.26	29.38
	Total		219	9985.5	11958.8	1973

One would have made nearly $2000. Since the One Man Fruit Stand is now on my team, I feel like I need to show everyone just how savvy this guy is with a dollar. I can’t wait to see the PCTI portfolio come January 2013!

AHOP, QP

PCTI4 On Court Breakout Candidates

5. Abe Stephen

Despite constant praise from all athletes, Abe was the third best player on his team in PCTI3.  He put up solid numbers across the board, but then again, who didn't on Breaking Bad?  Although his managerial skills from PCTI3 must be praised, he has significant upside on the court, and could easily add 3-5 ppg on to his averages in PCTI4.

4. S.A.H

Hops has never been known for blowing up any statistical category, making a career out of being a glue guy.  This year, I'm calling for a change after seeing the new look, athletic Hops storm through Palo Alto on the draft day hoop game.  Look for a steady 6 ppg/6 rpg output from Hops, along with a serious mean streak to help carry Team TBA.  His ability to manage the screen and role, on a team that rewards it will be a very underrated asset as well.

3. Mychael Beasley

Despite some people thinking Beas was an All-Tournament Teamer for his one good half of basketball, I personally think he has, and will show that he has a lot more to offer.  While many regress physically, Beas has continued to improve, along with an improving basketball game along with it.  After proving his defensive prowess shutting down The Actor in PCTI3, look for Beas to expend on his defensive accomplishments with an improved offensive performance, along with taking advantage of his ability to crash and make things happen on the glass. 

2. 28/15/44

Everytime this guy's name is brought up it's usually done so by saying "I love Ben Wilson, but.." I'm not going to say something nice just to set up an insult.  I hate Ben Wilson. However, after providing countless comedic relief courtesy of Deuce's highlight tape, I can't help but to think he is tired of it, and will come in rededicated to perfecting his craft, or finding a new one.  Maybe his game will need to be simplified, but I think he will take on a role he has refused to embrace, despite it being by far the most value he can bring; as a facilitator.

1. Run BMC

Congrats to B. Mac for being the first four time breakout candidate in PCTI history.  To double down on that accomplishment, I would also like to congratulate him for refusing to give anyone else the opportunity to take on this preseason role.  Every year we have more reason to believe that he will break out.  Year 1 reasoning was that he wasn't focused, year 2 he was out of shape, year 3 he was just off.  It's always something.  Well, take it from me... THIS IS THE YEAR.

Honorable Mention: Stickman.

I almost put him on here, then I remembered that Bruise won't allow himself to score too much or too little out of guilt, limiting both his upside or downside.

PCTI4 Off the Court Breakout Candidates

break-out: Suddenly and extremely popular or successful.

Per dictionary.com's definition above, this will be a two part segment that ranks the potential breakout candidates both on the court and off.  Let's begin with off the court (#1 being top breakout candidate).

5. Skillz

Skillz natural tendency to gravitate toward his lower key, mystery man persona will finally be taking a back seat, without the ability to run or hide in the house environment.  I will beat this into everyone's head every chance I get until PCTI4, that his beer bottle holding form is hands down the best drinking form I have ever seen.  That alone catapults him into the top 5, and I look forward to people telling me how right I was when they see his form in action.

4. Run BMC

What's a breakout candidate list without BMC?  I promise this won't be the last time you will hear this name on this two part segment.  B. Mac took a major leap last year on the party scene, giving people a small taste of what in my opinion is one of the more unorthodox, yet effective drinking styles of anyone I know.  Between his knowledge of local shit, random fun facts, and an ability to slam more alc stick in a short period of time than anyone on the planet, expect him to be a trendsetter in all facets of PCTI4.

3. Brent Carney

No one enjoys being under fire each offseason more than Big Brent and to his credit, he finds a way every year of making sure he is deserving of it.  Whether it was his refusal to shower, lack of eating, or just putting his terrible tolerance on display, expect the Big Man to come out swinging.  Laying out by the pool, finger rolling ping pong balls into beer cups, and his new passion for emotional toasts during group dinners will all be put on display, as the switch to the house really works to his advantage.

2. The Actor

The house will be the perfect stage for The Actor, who thrives on "The More, The Merrier."  This being his third trip to visit Run BMC since my wedding (1 year ago), TA is now working his way into Scottsdale veteran status, thrusting him into a leadership role.  My prediction is that he is not a good beer pong player, so that will work against him, but his passion for being around large quantities of people at once will make for a strong showing.  With the new venue and increased space, maybe he will get us all together to watch him do some improv/standup comedy.

1. The Stickman

So many things about the house work in Stick's advantage it's not even funny.  He will just be coming down off his wedding high, realizing that once that is over the only thing there is left to do in life is go to work, and think about PCTI.  From that point you factor in the other things like the fact that Stick has gone on record many times saying he will take a house party over a bar any day of the week.  Above all else, NO ONE puts together a better beer pong game than this guy.  Between his dedication to the rules (watch that elbow), soft touch, defense and speed when reacting to a ball rolling around the rim, and crushing of each drink so fast the opposition doesn't have a chance to sick it in his cup to end the game, no one will run this guy off the table.  Everyone will be trying to roll with this guy, the question is if he still has it?

WELCOME TO COLLEGE

Retro Diary - PCTI II (Game 1)

I don't do anything all day and night, so a game-by-game retro diary on PCTI II is about to go down. I'll probably get bored by the 3rd quarter of game 2, or when I realize my defense cost my team the series, but here it goes.

Captains:

Brian Eskildsen
Brent Carney

Key pre-PCTI II moves:

- After drafting a player he had never seen before, my boyfriend traded Smo for Jeff Sabin.

- Chase Hardin (Beer) was added to the event. We later found out that Chase Hardin we knew no longer existed.

- Dawson Huff was the scorekeeper.

- Eskildsen didn't buy a mouthpiece.

Game 1

Pregame: The scoreboard in the gym is not working, so we are forced to use a 16" x 16" portable scoreboard that Dawson continues to so kindly swivel for everyone to see throughout the game.

Pregame: We take a team picture with what looks like a camera you pick up at a SeaWorld gift shop.

Pregame: Brian announces what the winning team did the previous year that his team needed to focus on. 1) Talk on defense. 2) Call out ball screens. 3) Call out who's got ball. 4) Crash the boards.

1st Half

20:00 - BC wins the tip over Sabin.

19:55 - Fil-A blocks Thompson's layup on the opening possession.

19:54 - Fil-A stops playing defense for the rest of PCTI II.

18:35 - Bruiser drop steps and puts in an easy lay-up, as everyone who is watching this says, "Why doesn't he do that every time?"

17:20 - Chase nails a 3. Our team looks at each other with excitement!

17:05 - Fruit man misses a point blank layup.

16:55 - Ben Wilson 1-ups DK with an air ball layup.

16:00 - Ben Wilson 1-ups himself with a 3 pointer that misses by litrally (P&R) 5 feet. Zero reaction of shock or disgust from Ben.

15:00 - Smo couldn't look any "whiter". Left knee brace with shin high plain white socks countering his 4 inch too short shorts that are the exact same color as his shoes.

11:30 - Chase bricks a wide open 3, but the rest of his team is very verbal about him continuing to fire it up.

10:15 - Sabin misses his 14th running/fading 8 footer.

09:14 - Chase bricks a wide open 3.

08:10 - Hite passes up a shot for the 1st time.

07:13 - Chase airballs a 10 footer.

06:23 - Dawson puts the scoreboard on a swivel for the camera for the 1st of 213 times.

05:45 - Ben Wilson busts out the patented "flat-footed, hands up defensive stance".

04:59 - Someone shoots a fade-away, shot is way off, then this someone yells out a "Oh, COME ON!". Guess who?

03:15 - Wilson gets to the rim and is fouled. He's been solid offensively all game. Defensively, he could be my brother.

02:43 - Sabin somehow shoots a running fade away. That fact that it drew iron is a miracle from Joseph Smith.

02:00 - Smo fouls Wilson on a one-handed, floating 15 footer that is banked in.

01:36 - Hite makes a sick move. I didn't like him, but at times he was easily the best player on the court.

01:15 - Abe shoots a 3 pointer from under one of the side goals. He later claims that knowing the backboard was so close to him is what caused the 40 footer to miss.

00:23 - Chase airballs a wide open 3. Everyone looks around wondering, "Is he okay?". We later found out that he was only able to smoke 2 packs before the game, instead of his usual 3, so that had him feeling a little jittery.

Half-time - Score is 31 to 29, BC's team in the lead.

2nd Half

19:59 - Everyone is exhausted.

19:01 - Hite heating up.

18:34 - Fil-A is bringing the ball down.

18:02 - I was about to make fun of Fil-A on that last post, but he seriously just had a phenomenal defensive possession on Donley. I don't have a joke for this, that was awesome.

17:12 - HAHAHA I shit you not, Fil-A fronts Donley 10 feet from the goal, and as soon as the lob pass to Donley is thrown he gives and yells, "HELP!". Donley scores his easiest 2 of the tournament.

15:23 - Donley hits a 3 pointer and doesn't do any "swordplay". Oh, how we all miss those days.

13:45 - Bruiser fires up a 3 pointer 1.6 seconds into the offensive possession... Airball.

13:32 - The Dr. gets an offensive rebound and easy putback. Ahop is so pissed, he immediately calls a timeout. That's honestly the first time I have seen Ahop do anything.

12:51 - BC pulls a 28 footer... Airball.

12:17 - I hit a layup, and Danny immediately yells, "Too easy guys!".

11:23 - The basketball goes out of bounds by about 2 full feet, and the referees make no call. Ahop proceeds to throw a behind the back pass that is bobbled and eventually scored. This was the moment I needed to convince the Fruit Man we needed a 3rd referee.

10:01 - Brian and Abe go for a loose ball.

09:53 - Brian curses at a brick wall.

During timeout - Abe checks up on Brian, and as soon as he turns around starts to smile and hold back a laugh.

09:15 - Lefty floater from Ben. Everything is working for Wilson.

08:21 - Chase bricks a wide open 3 pointer. Everyone is starting to get a bit confused.

07:26 - Wilson records a double-double in one possession. Apparently the key to a double-double is to miss 8 consecutive tipped shots.

05:58 - BC's team misses 5 consecutive layups, then Ahop rebounds the ball in between the 5 guys who just missed a layup/

04:40 - Everyone is really really exhausted. Yeah, this is game 1.

04:13 - Fil-A is lighting up the scoreboard. No, seriously... He's working the scoreboard since Dawson left to take Brian to the ER.

02:25 - The "blue monster" makes its first appearance. Wilson eats shit after contesting a layup.

02:01 - Joe looks at the camera during the game for the 113th time.

01:43 - 114th time.

01:21 - Chase asks the team if he can take a smoke break during the timeout.

01:21 - We later realize he was serious.

01:07 - BC's team tries to stall (4 Corners). Last about 12 seconds before it is turned over.

00:34 - Team Eskildsen ball, down 67-68.

00:34 - Chase calls the play we are going to run, with the game on the line.

00:26 - Ben throws up a... windmill finger-roll?? It gets backboard, that's it.

00:21 - Team Carney makes 2 free throws.

00:17 to 00:00 - Team Eskildsen shoots 62 three pointers, none of them are even close. There is time for one last shot, and Bruiser jacks up a hurried 3 pointer with 4 seconds left as I am standing wide open 5 feet from him... This play is the reason I will never want Bruiser on my team. I'm not saying it's logical. I'm just being honest.

Team Carney wins 70-67.

Everyone is completely out of gas by the end of the game. I have no idea how there were 6 more games played this weekend. I'm a firm believer that Donley showed up to PCTI III in better shape than everyone else, because everyone else stayed to finish PCTI II.

Notable Game 1 stats:

Ben Wilson: 9-22 from the field, when it seemed like he was 19-22. Maybe 9-22 in a PCTI game is basically equivalent to 19-22 in a normal game.

?????: 4-14 from the field.

?????: 4-14 from the field.

One of those 2 stats belongs to Chase, and the other belongs to Sabin. I'll never tell!!

Bruiser: 2-9 from the field. I don't want to help out the other team in PCTI IV, but those 2 made buckets were great drop-step post moves. The other 7 were jump shots...

Wes Murray: Pick a stat, and put a ZERO next to it.

Team Eskildsen: 24 - 70 (34.3%) from the field. 12 - 21 (57.1%) from the FT line.

Hite: 6-20 from the field. It didn't feel like he missed 14 shots, but then again I don't know what it feels like to shoot 20 times.

The Dr.: 3-10 from the field.

Abe: 5-16 from the field. 15 rebounds. Next highest rebounder was Joe at 5.

Donley: 2-3 from 3.

Who is this McKinney guy listed on these stats?

Team Carney: 27-80 (33.8%).

Combined FGM-FGA: 51 - 150 (34%).

Lead changes: 5

**I'm not spell-checking this post.