Tuesday, August 27, 2013

If you’re not first, your last

So after all the harassment I was getting I put this together in my 30min 'meeting' that I schedule for myself, by myself, and for myself this afternoon to get this shit done. 

I’ve broken things down below between Things To Do and Hoops, but I’d like to start off by addressing my competition (comedy and flashy things will only get you so far):

1.       Denver (the hot favorite) – I don’t get why Denvare is the favorite here, the average temperature in April is somewhere in the mid-40s.  Might as well have this damn thing in Wisconsin and cut the cost by 2/3 and let Abe bang allthe fat chicks he can get his hands on.  The big mouths in this thing are getting more and more west coast and we all need a reality check. 

2.      Chattanooga (never count out the persuasion of a dude called Smo)– being that my in-laws live here should be enough for anyone that’s ever had a girlfriend to spare me the misery of having the conversation of why I can’t see them when I’m in town for what will be my 2nd visit of the calendar year (up from my usual 1 – best son-in-law in the biz).  Secondly, it’s Chattanooga – regardless of what type of polish and jiz Smo throws at this thing.

Now, on to the important stuff:

THINGS TO DO

What’s cool about Cincy?


·         Obvi – Mitchel Goosen and his film Airborne was filmed there – should I just stop now?
§  He jumped over a car… no big deal

·         There is something to do for everyone
o   Live Music erry night – BenJAMin, wannabe JT, Hops
o   Food!!  Montgomery Inn has the best ribs in the biznass and the greatest collection of sports memorabilia you will ever see – Wes, EVERYONE (and I’m not even mentioning my own parents restaurant.

o   1 or 3 US Hofbrauhaus in the US – home of the 48oz beer  - Bruise, everyone
·         Be sure to scroll down and peep the waitress and their outfits
o   Kings Island – most badass roller coasters on the planet – EVERYONE
§  Think of what you did when you were a kid on a basketball trip, water or theme park central – now imagine it with booze and while all the HS dbags are in school
·         FIREHAWK Bitches!!


o   Nightlife – EVERYONE –think about how many Bengal arrests have happened around town just because they can’t stop having fun
§  Chill spots, club spots, you want it…I know where it is
o   Cougars – Beas, Smo, DEUCE!
o   Aquarium – Pitto, Abe (the penguin room is freezing so it will be just like Denver)
o   Zoo – Pitto, Esk (great family getaway for you two, 2nd ranked zoo outside of Saint Diago)
o   Historical significance – Spotlight, the man loves his knowledge
o   Bob Huggins once coached there – Esk
o   Some old people live there – Sabin
o   Some people don’t talk there – Bmac
o   Terrible sportscasters blow dix there – BC (another new job out of a PCTI trip?)

HOOPS
Now that you all are sold as a bitch on the city – let me tell you what the hoops will be all about.
·         Gym – options, options, options
o   Dude I played with in HS is the Facility and Operations manager at my old HS
o   My dad’s buddy is the Gym teacher at a different HS
o   My mom’s homegirl is the principal of Highlands HS in N Ky (closest proximity)
§  We will be able to decide on where and when and it will be cheaper than years past
·         Hotel – have in with local Marriot, should be cheap and right down town
·         Referees – know HS refs in the area that should be able to sign up at cost (even a 3rd one Pitto!)
·         Stats people – guaranteed to be improved versus PCTI IV
·         New!!! – I maintain full and sole ownership over the following ideas
o   Exhibition! – I’ve already talked to a handful of guys that love what is PCTI and I thought it would be a cool way to get a decent run in on Wed  (easy to get 10-12) - all PCTI members in town on same squad  versus the exhibition squad -- 3 15 minute “quarters” (subject to change) so everyone gets some good floor time in
§  Hoping Deuce could film and have BC interview both teams to get some outside views on our games and this whole thing
§  Gets the PCTI group together for once before we hate each other for three days
o   3pt contest – happens right after the exhibition and can go one of two ways – 1. You enter yourself and compete  2. You nominate someone from the Washington Generals exhibition squad to shoot for you
§  $10-$20 per guy, and we can agree on odds (blog post!) and have side action as necessary
·         All rules subject to change to better the event
o   Mind is always moving and I guarantee another couple new ideas prior to event tipoff

It’s not complicated fellas, it will be on the cheap side for those of you still paying off last year’s PCTI and just as fun…I guarantee it.  Just fuckin vote Cincy now and save the other two the embarrassment.
~ Your Friendly Neighborhood Cockboy
 

2 comments:

  1. Nice Effort Strong. A couple of comments:

    1) The "You're/Your" combo you pulled off in the title is nothing short of a master stroke. Screw you William Faulkner.

    2) I'd like to see Cincy get a shot at V just to help Scott Donley Sr. and The Root Beer Stand. Bruise and Deuce alone could clean out any excess inventory with just a few trips.

    3) The family getaway trip to the zoo for Esk and Pitto had me laughing out loud at my desk. And since my work isn't remotely funny, my boss stared at me and knew I was goofing off. So thanks for that Strong.

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