Merry Christmas, PCTI.
Today is a day to be thankful and reflect on everything that has happened in the last year. Sadly, as I look back on 2015, I shudder to think about this PCTI offseason.
It's no secret that there have been disappointments big (losing Smo for PCTI '16) and small (the production of a movie titled "Spotlight" that was set in Boston but wasn't a Pat Higdon bio pic). As Americans we tend to demand accountability when things go poorly and are quick to assign blame. If there's a sliver of good news that has come out of the abysmal past five months, it is that we know exactly who to blame. It can only be one man. It can only be our commish. It is Dan, Dan, the Man with His Head In The Sand.
That is why after speaking with DAN earlier today, I am officially announcing that I am taking over as interim commissioner, effective immediately. If you want to draw parallels between the timing of this announcement and historic Judeo-Christian beliefs associated with this holiday, be my guest. All I can tell you is that I am here to serve the league and deliver us from the doldrums left from Dan the (used to be the)Man's coarse ineptitude.
In a moment, I will detail the most pressing issues that we must quickly take care of and how we as a league are going to get back on track. First, let me acknowledge that DTM will stay on in an altered capacity to help us during this period of transition. While acknowledging that DAN nearly killed off the league with his inaction, we likewise have to acknowledge that this was originally his vision. That's why I plan to keep him in the mix to be a voice as we solve some of our problems. As for questions that are sure to arise regarding the future of PCTI's leadership structure: I can only tell you that right now my sole focus is on getting PCTI to Cincinnati, the land of Dean Ambrose. There is a reason that I have the interim designation, however. In a perfect world, I would like to cede leadership to a worthy, long-term solution. Could that person be Dan? I wouldn't rule it out but he has a lot of making up to do. In the meantime, the traditional man at the top and for that matter, the original bored of directors ceases to exist.
Now, lets get down to business.
Problem 1. Unfinished Business from Last Season.
While this is the most mystifying of all our issues, it is also thankfully the easiest one to fix. We need to vote on MVP and All-Tournament. I am going to put A-Hop in charge of this as he has done a fine job in years past. Everyone should have a stat sheet and the videos are on the blog, so if you need a refresher, get it done. I will encourage A-Hop to send out an email and start tracking results beginning next week, with the announcements of winners made as soon as possible. From there we will determine the 2016 captains.
Problem 2. Roster uncertainty
I honestly don't even know the exact head count we have of locked in for 2016 players. I assume I'm not the only one who is not clear on this very important detail. A few issues.
- Smo is out as his wife is expecting a child. I suppose this could change considering Problem 3, but I'm not expecting it to.
- I assume Bruiser is back after his one year retirement for the same reason, but we need to confirm this.
- I think we added one of Has Ben Wilson's friends but I don't remember his name or if he's officially in.
- We need to reach out to bottom wrung players to see what their plans are for the future or to officially give them their walking papers.
I'll lead the charge on this issue.
The sooner we get a concrete roster, the sooner we can have the draft. Not to beat a dead horse, but traditionally we had the draft on the former commissioner's birthday (can you say selfish?) but this year that date came and went with nary a peep from DAN.
Problem 3. We don't have a date
It was a nice idea that we could pick a date while in Portland and have it hold up but unfortunately the former commish's last task was to inform The Bored that that date would not work.
According to DAN, several people in the league informed him that they would not be able to make the date in June that we originally selected. Whether this is true or its just Dan who can't make the date, we'll never know. Although I will say that Actor goes to ten Rhodes weddings every summer (despite it being a school of only 1,000 people) and is probably booked solid with wedding weekends. Either way, we need to lock in on a date very soon. Especially considering that if we bump it up to May, we're less than five months away.
I will get together with my brain trust (likely Cockboy, Hops, and DAN) and figure out a preliminary date that we can immediately share with the group. If there's a good thing about doing this so late in the year it is that most people should have their vacations, weddings, lined up already and thus should be able to respond quickly to dates.
The big take away from all of this is be ready to start knocking out all of these things. If you don't want to participate, you have no choice because this league can only afford one DAN.
Oh have no fear Bambi, I'm back. Hope you enjoyed last season banging around down low with those powder puffs. Ain't happening this year bruh. So you better get ready and sharpen those elbows bc Bruise is bringing the pain. See ya soon, Comish.
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