Another Shocking Announcement from TA (The Actor).

Hollywood Gazette (a subsidiary of The Burbank Weekly, a subsidiary of The Hollywood Reporter)
Op-Ed Section

June 21, 2014

Emails are overrated and the blog has found new life so I decided to address this on here as opposed to impersonal email to everyone.

Anyways, it's with a heavy heart that I also hate to inform everyone that I will be at PCTI this year. My bad jokes and lackluster puns will be on full display as well as my budding acting ability. It was an rigorously easy decision for me because I like beer, shooting long 3 pointers with no chance of going in, showing off my tan, and talking about how great drugs are and how everyone should try them, and everyone asking me what famous person have I run into (David Spade eats at my favorite Tex-Mex place (JoeQuito Mas or Poquito Mas) in LA every Friday).

It just makes sense for me to spend time with people I like for an extended weekend, sans Hops (who ruined the event for the aforementioned Lost 4 of Eskildsen, Pitto, Donley and Sabin due to "school"). 

To the Lost 4, I truly wish you guys could come. 

Pitto, I respect family first, so enjoy your niece and you will, sadly, be missed.  You should pay Danie for your jersey since your budget just shrunk (from $600+ to $160) and wear it out all Summer in Nashville with Hops. We need you two as Brand Ambassadors for us in Middle Tennessee. Additionally, what better way to greet your newborn niece than by holding her in your Jordan PCTI Jersey. Call me crazy, but that sounds great for our PR and Marketing especially in the 21-45 Female demo.

Scott and Sabin, please get healthy soon. We are definitely going to pour out a few Bud Lights (do I smell a sponsorship coming soon???!!) on your behalf. 

Eskildsen, do your thing in Boston. You will be missed. We are all eagerly excited about getting the Harvard/Rice care package of gear in which Abe always gets the best pair of shorts.

Again, I apologize to the unlucky 11 that are still going that I will still be in attenDANCE. I just learned the Charleston, so prepare yourselves for some annoyingly great dance moves (I added them to my acting resume).

Hopefully, I'll have more fireworks to give everyone once PCTI IIIII gets going. 

Yours in combat,

Dr. Thompson

PCTI Players' Poll: #8 BenWilson

The Brat's Preamble: Perhaps what you remember about PCTIs of years past is how you view BenWilson within the PCTI hierarchy. Either way, frankly, right now it's not very favorable. I think it's fair to say that our (sometimes) bearded hero is at a career crossroads as he faces a winless record and now a pair of unsavory superlatives from the brethren.

In the most lopsided vote of all the categories, BenWilson is the player who has played most under his ability. To put it in a way that really hits home, there are more people who think BenWilson is historically disappointing than who think Beas is the best looking or who derive the most pleasure out of seeing Pitto lose. And PCTI wasn't done piling on. The brethren also picked BenWilson as the most overrated player.

Those who consider him overrated may not remember the monster that BenWilson was in the Kentucky PCTIs. Those who consider him most disappointing may remember those two years (especially PCTI I) all too well  and are wondering where that production has gone in the two PCTIs since then. Either way, the vast majority seem to be in agreement on this: there's all sorts of pressure on Osama Bin Wilson to redeem himself heading in to Denver.

Voting Breakdown: highest vote: 2, lowest vote: 14. This matches the two guys who got a 3-15 (One was Ahop, the other has yet to appear on the list) as the widest variance. This isn't too much of a surprise as BenWilson appears to be among PCTIs most polarizing players at the moment.

PCTI Liftetime Record: 0-4. This stat will take on more significance as the years go by but right now, the only way it matters is if there's a zero on either side of the dash. This is a huge storyline going in to PCTI V and one Ben has to shoulder alone after attrition claimed Sabin. 

Lifetime Stats: 11.7 ppg (2^nd, it's a very close three way battle for PCTI's second best scorer. BenWilson is only 8 points up on fourth), 6.4 rpg (5^th, few probably think of BenWilson as a rebounder yet he's mere three rebounds behind Bruiser for fourth), 14 steals (t-9, with his buddy Danie), 3 blocks (t-11, with his buddy the Swashbuckler), 39 assists (7^th), 34.7 percent shooting (12^th, ahead of the Swashbuckler by a fraction), 26.7 percent from three (10^th) and the all-important Sabin Productivity number: 126 (8^th)

Lifetime Bests: 29 points! (PCTI 1, game 2 second all-time only to Actor's 30 point game in KD 4), 13 rebounds (PCTI 2, game 1), 4 assists (multiple times)

Other Notes: BenWilson has put up some monstrous games. He's a much better rebounder than I realized and interestingly many of his best rebounding games have come when he's been scoring at a high rate. It's clear that Ben's motor runs best at the beginning of the weekends and goes to another notch when he's finding it easy to score. He had 27 points (on 22 shots!) in his 13 rebound game to open PCTI II. He also has a 22 and 11 line under his belt. I'd be remiss if I didn't also point out that in PCTI II, game three, BenWilson put together an 0-11, zero points masterpiece. As far as scoring goes, he has PCTI's second best game and arguably its worst.

Here's the four PCTIs set side-by-side. Obviously if he could ever replicate PCTI I, he'd be a shoe-in top three player. Few would complain about the output from PCTI II, as well. While many guys get absolved from their sins as time marches onward, BenWilson is still seen by many as a scapegoat for the KD and perhaps rightfully so. A guy who had 29 and 27 point games in the first two PCTIs scored 31 points for the weekend after being a lottery pick for Sabin. Then there was last season, 10 and 6 is always a solid contribution but the field goal percentage again was troubling as it showed no signs of improvement from the KD. 

PCTI I: 15/6/44%

PCTI II: 13/8/34%

PCTI III: 8/5/29%

PCTI IV 10/6/30%

BenWilson got a startling 59 percent of the vote for most disappointing and 30 percent of the vote for most overrated. Someone takes special delight in the losing streak and voted BenWilson as the person he most enjoys watching lose. He got one vote for best off-court talents and – unlike his boy DTOMFS – got a vote for best looking.  

News and Note Units

I don't think anyone would question the fact that this has been the most tumultuous off-season in the history of PCTI.  Between the low amount of chatter, to the challenge of finding a date because A. Hop couldn't miss a day of school, to season ending injuries, to a new job that will dilute our earnings per share to a record low... It's been a rough one.

But it really hasn't and here is why.  On the heels of the biggest honor of my life (best teammate in PCTI), I have a new outlook on the situation.  As likable as they are, all Sabin and Donley do are take shots away from the hard working, team first guys like myself, Smo, Pretty Boy BRUISE, Spot, McKinney, and Hops that want the opportunity to stuff stats, but have never been able to because the team comes first.  With any loss comes opportunity.  I expect this to be mine.

With increased responsibilities in everyone's career there becomes less free time.  Although that has hampered my day to day focus on PCTI, it has actually enhanced my excitement for the weekend.  The opportunity to get together with people I hate less than everyone else, and play the sport I love will always be the highlight of my year...

Anyway, a few things I'm looking/not looking forward to:

• Not being able to see Sabin on day 3 look like he just got run over by one of Smo's Robert Tractor Trailers.
• A Spotcut... Still gives me the tingles despite being completely overplayed.
• Joe only hanging with McKinney because he's the only one that will laugh at (or understand) his jokes.
• Wes referring to all cases moved out of a Macy's distribution center as "his cases." Got to appreciate job ownership.
• Someone other than me recognizing that Abe's game has evolved from one handed bounce passes no one can catch to one of the top distributors in PCTI.
• A brat out.
• Smo and Hops.
• Skillz sleeping through the whole weekend.
• Everyone kissing the Stickman's ass telling him he's going to be MVP in hopes he plays less hard the rest of the weekend.
• Ben sulking like a baby when things don't go his way unit.
• Deuce coming in looking even more physically imposing now that he's Mr. Orr's workout partner.
• Hanging out with Pitto all weekend, who I secretly enjoy more than 90% of the people in PCTI.
• McKinney purposely annoying me because he has carved out that ever important niche, and seems to really enjoy it.
• Pushing the Nature Boy around because I feel like it.

Keep em' coming BRAT!

PCTI Players' Poll: #9 Donley/Cock Boy

The Brat's Preamble: Well, this one kind of sucked to write. My reason for doing this project in the first place was to drum up a little motivation for everyone going in to the weekend. I – like everyone else, I assume – felt like this off season has been way too quiet and knew that everyone was aware that 1. it can be unwise to talk too much 2. every storyline is exhausted. I hoped that this would provide some interesting reading and give everyone extra motivation at a time when that can be very valuable.

I haven't really felt too bad about the stuff I've written, mostly because I'm just relaying information, only putting in my two cents where it's needed to clarify or when I simply can't help myself. But the real reason why I'm cool with this entire exercise is that everyone will have the chance to write their own story in a few weeks.

Of course that doesn't apply to Donstick and that's why this sucks.

That feeling is compounded when I talk to the commish and he tells me that nobody cares more about PCTI and looks forward more to that weekend than the Cock Boy. That's praise to the highest degree. 

Voting Breakdown: highest vote: 5, lowest vote: 13

PCTI Lifetime Record: 2-1. First loss was in PCTI IIII. A little history lesson: Cockboy was actually invited to play in the inaugural PCTI but was not able to commit due to a schedule conflict. That means Donley will have missed all or parts of three of six PCTIs. Considering one of his PCTIs was the KD, he's surprisingly only played in 14 of a possible 24 games. Only Skillz can hold a candle to him in the durability concerns department.

Lifetime Stats: 7.7 ppg (T-7 with Beas), 4.7 rpg (8^th), 3 blocks (T-11 with BenWilson. Of course Don is gonna take some hits in the accumulated stats due to what I mentioned above), 17 steals (T-5, this is an impressive number for a guy lacking in games played and is a sign of his athleticism and aggressiveness on defense), 17 assists (14^th, not a great number but Donley is an attacker, that's not news to anyone), 34.6 percent shooting (13^th, considering Don gets layups and shoots at an adequate percentage by PCTI standards from distance, you could make an argument that this number really ought to be higher), 26.9 percent from three (9^th) and the all-important Sabin Productivity number: 71 (13^th, bbbbburn)

Lifetime Bests: 13 points (multiple times), 9 rebounds (KD, game 1), 2 assists (multiple times)

Other Notes: I thought Donley had a bigger high point game in there but alas, 13 it is.

Some of Cockboy's numbers may not look great but there's something to be said for the fact that for much of every PCTI, someone has to try to make something happen. You can say in hindsight that it was a forced play or even a guy being selfish, but perhaps the least selfish team in PCTI history was the kittens. At some point someone has to attack and shoot otherwise you're gonna get a whole lot of pass and screen away with precious little to show for it.

Donley's evolution is the most concrete example of the PCTI career arc. Year one he was a pleasant surprise to his teammates, many of whom had no idea what to expect. He showed up in shape, aggressive and played with a fun loving confident attitude. Nothing about any of that has changed in the two PCTIs since and that's a testament to his commitment and attitude. In the KD he added a wrinkle as a heel with his swashbuckling. By PCTI IIII the expectations were raised even more and like so many of us, that meant the only place he could possibly go in the minds of the brethren was back down. And I think that's where we find Cockboy now, making it all the more tragic that he can't play this year. He'd probably play about the same or slightly better and would start the cycle all over again: pleasant surprise, PCTI upper middle-class, overrated and repeat.

To this point, Donley got 12 percent of the vote for the player who has played most above his ability level in PCTI, the back handed compliment that Bruiser won. Donley finished in a three way tie for second. On the flip side, one voter picked him as the guy who has played most below his potential.

He also got 18 percent of the vote for PCTI's most overrated player. Again, that puts him in second place. On the flip side, one voter picked him as PCTI's most underrated player.

He got a vote for the guy you'd most like to see lose and one vote for best looking. Smart money says he voted for himself on that one.

PCTI Players Poll: #10 DTOMFS

The Brat's Preamble: It's a widely held belief that children crave discipline. It's true that many of us act like children during PCTI. Maybe that explains why the biggest disciplinarian in PCTI, our (not so) beloved commish, DTOMFS was chosen as PCTI's most popular teammate.

Nobody gets on his teammates more than Dan. But there's a chance you may have never noticed.That's because Dan is clearly nowhere near the biggest loudmouth in PCTI. In fact, he's not a loud mouth at all. He NEVER says a word to officials, or to the other team. But you sure as hell better believe he'll say something to you, his teammate if you do. If a full out fight were to break out, my guess is Dan fights against his own team in anger that they are fighting. 

What else do we like about Dan? Certainly the way he plays is the perfect compliment to anyone. He passes the ball constantly, competes on defense, subs himself out of the game regularly and passes the ball constantly. He also passes often.

Maybe the biggest thing going for Dan is that he never, ever, ever goes looking for his. Whether his is his points, his minutes, his credit for a win, his beer, his anything, he makes it about everyone else. Sure maybe the other 51 weeks of the year he makes every big PCTI decision with his own interests in mind but when it comes down to the weekend, it's a different story. 

Also, admit it, when I write these things up and I say something critical about you, you hate me a little. That's fine, I'd be the same way. In fact I think it would be that way for anyone in PCTI, except for DTOMFS. We all know that no matter what he says disparaging about any of us, at his very core he thinks he's even worse. There's something comforting in that and lets him be one of the "voices" in PCTI without ever being the bad guy. 

With all of that said, where could Dan be on this list if he ever turns in a PCTI in which he plays from start to finish even close to his capability? I'd say the sky is the limitstick.

Voting Breakdown: highest vote: 5, lowest vote: 15. Again, a huge variance.

PCTI Lifetime Record: 2-2 with wins in the even numbered PCTIs

Lifetime Stats: 3.7 ppg (T-15 with Smo), 3.6 rpg (13^th), 4 blocks (T9 with Hops, an annual tradition, one block a year), 14 steals (T9 with BenWilson, never seen someone get more steals who NEVER reaches at a ball handler. Every steal of his life is on an entry or outlet pass), 66 assists (2^nd, not sure why I haven't been including this number, I'll start to.) 33.6 percent shooting (14^th), 25 percent from three (12^th) and the all important Sabin Productivity number: 121 (9^th, as the other stats show, statistically DTOMFS is not what you would consider “a producer” but he is a close friend of Sabin, so maybe that explains his middle of the pack finish)

Lifetime Bests: 8 points (multiple times), 7 rebounds (multiple times, the last two games of PCTI IIII), 6 assists (multiple times)

Other Notes: Welp, those numbers certainly aren't blowing anybody away. Statistically speaking, every guy in PCTI has got loose once or twice for a big game, with Dan being the exception.

The Fruit Man hangs his fedora on a sterling assist to turnover ratio. How important is this number to Dan? As several PCTI guys know, he runs a fantasy basketball league that separately rewards points for assists, turnovers AND assists to turnover ratio. An absurdity that seems to suggest that in the world of Dan, a/t is double the importance of other statistics.

But lets give him some credit, his a/t is off the charts. 3.5 is a great number at any level of basketball. In PCTI it is unheard of. It's almost twice that of the second best number.

Clearly this number is a big part of what gives Dan such a great reputation in the eyes of his teammates. It's also an example of how we typecast many PCTI members. There are two guys who have earned (well deserved) reputations for being quality decision makers/assists guys: Dan and Skillz. But there are several other guys who also clearly outshine most of the competition when it comes to assists and ball security who didn't seem to benefit from it at all in the eyes of the PCTI brethren as far as voting in this poll. Likewise, there are some guys who are turnover machines that are near the very top of the list. Largely, we don't seem to care about assists or about turnovers...unless it's Dan or Skillz.

Dan also was voted in a tie for PCTI's most underrated player, getting 18 percent of the vote. So just to summarize, that's a guy who averages 3.5 points and rebounds a game getting votes for underrated. Dan's self deprecating humor must also be part Jedi mind trick. Certainly it would at least make a little sense then that Dan would challenge for the player who has played most below his potential, right? Nope, he only got one vote.

Two people have picked up on Dan's short fuse with his teammates. Receiving two votes, he came in third place for, “guy I most like to see lose.” It's obvious but I'll state it anyways, nobody voted Dan best looking.

PCTI Players' Poll: #11 Bruiser

The Brat's Preamble: Bruiser is the most unique player in PCTI. By that I mean that he least resembles any of the other fifteen. If say Ahop this year organized for Friday night entertainment a guessing game in which you had to describe a player by his physical attributes or playing style – one of those stupid ass games where people are walking around with names stuck to their foreheads - would there be an easier draw than Bruiser? Maybe you could make an argument for Pitto but I'd go with the Stickman hands down (man down.)

Maybe this explains why PCTI seems to undervalue good ole' Bruise. We have little basis for comparison. I can almost guarantee you that when you look at his stats over four PCTIs, they'll be better than you think. Numbers wise he outplays a lot of people who are ahead of him on this list. Yet for many of us, it's clearly an apples versus oranges type of comparison to try to value his game in relation to theirs. This has been evident for years as he's chronically under-drafted. And now, he gets the ultimate backhanded compliment from his bretheren. Bruiser is the pick for the player who's played most above his ability level. Interesting that a guy who has played in all four PCTIs and had very similar stats in all four PCTIs is the guy who now wears this label.

Bruiser's inclusion at no. 11 and his pick as “Most Out Of His Mind” is the beginning of a trend that will show up pretty regularly the rest of this exercise. That is that the ability to single-handedly win a game is greatly valued, while the ability to single-handedly railroad your team and lose a game is mostly overlooked. There's a lot of middle of the pack guys in PCTI who have a history of doing both, depending on the game and those guys are all ranked ahead of a more steady, though perceived lower ceiling player like Stickman.

Of course nobody has ever passed Bruiser the ball enough in the post to have any idea if he could actually carry a team to a victory...but I digress.

Voting Breakdown: highest vote: 8, lowest vote: 13. As I mentioned in the previous post, Bruiser and Spot were nearly identical in where they appeared on almost everyone's ballot. Interesting fact, there were only four players that weren't ranked by someone at ten or lower.

PCTI Lifetime Record: 1-3, Stickman riding a three year losing streak.

Lifetime Stats: 8.2 ppg (7^th, remember when I pointed out that there's three distinct groups of scorers? Bruiser is the top dog in the second tier. Guys he averages more points than: Beas, Donley, Skillz), 6.5 rpg (4^th, 7 rebounds in a game is “elite” for PCTI. Bruise toes that line), 10 blocks (4^th), 9 steals (tied 13^th with The Brat), 43.8 percent shooting (tied 3^rd with Smo), 21 percent from three (only Skillz and of course Smo have attempted fewer threes than Bruiser. Of his 21 attempts I'll estimate 17 of them were of the, “I'm sick of trying to rebound all these misses you bastards are launching rather than throwing the ball in to me, so I'm going to shoot one of my own,” variety) and the all important Sabin Productivity: 235 (7^th, by far the highest number yet! There's an enormous gap between the top eight and bottom eight in this metric. I'd love to hypothesize on why this is but I have no idea what this stat measures or how it measures it.)

Lifetime Bests: 15 points (PCTI I, game five), 17 rebounds! (PCTI II, game 6), 2 assists (several times)

Other Notes: The blood is on all our hands for putting Bruiser low on this list, thus insuring he'll show up to Denver pissed off and ready to break someone in half. Thank God I thought to do this only a few weeks out so he doesn't have proper time to get revenge yoked.

I'm thinking the 17 rebound game is the high water mark for PCTI, we'll see if anyone else on the list tops it. In one of the great moments of PCTI, Bruiser came out wielding a blowtorch in the first ten minutes of the KD but that was not his high point game, as he finished with 14 points (it only felt like 30.) Of course that moment is largely remembered because of the way the Kittens folded immediately after Bruiser stopped making shots/shooting. One other note from the KD as it pertains to Stickman: he finished the weekend with zero assists. Somebody, for the love of God, ANYBODY please make a shot for the Kittens!

Bruiser got 18 percent of the vote for the guy who's played most out of his mind. Certainly not an overwhelming number but just enough to earn the superlative. Somebody completely disagreed and voted Bruiser as the most disappointing player. He also got one vote each for most underrated, best teammate, and BEST LOOKING. If one thing is becoming more and more clear, it's that we have a lot of good looking people in PCTI.

PCTI Players Poll: #12 Spotlight

The Brat's Preamble: The voters have spoken, Spotlight is PCTI's most underrated player. If an outsider looked purely at stats, this might come as a head scratcher. But, I think that's exactly what this vote is out to set straight. I read it as a nod to Spotlight from the league that he above all others, most steadily contributes in ways that don't show up on the stat sheet. Or perhaps, everyone just has an inflated view of his game. I certainly think it is the former.

A-Hop made a good point in the comments of one of the other posts. That we talk a lot about the merits of the supposed “good teammates” when really this shouldn't be given too much credit because it was a prerequisite to be picked for PCTI. It's at the root of why this weekend was conceived in the first place. I certainly agree, but I also think that the longer we play with each other, the more we're able to pick up on the little subtitles about each of our personalities/games that aren't clear at first. I can see now when someone may be pouting a little, too tired, overly frustrated, etc. even if they're taking the high road and not making it front and center. It's a long weekend and it's only natural that everyone is going to have ups and downs.

I think what helps set Spotlight apart is that he is unfailingly positive, upbeat and unselfish even in comparison to everyone else. Couple this with the fact that he does many of the things that are least fun in basketball: moving without the ball, going to the glass and what's that other one...oh yeah, consistently trying on defense.

Interpret the stats how you will but keep in mind that Spot and Beas are our two most recent additions and only have two PCTIs under their belts, one of which was the KD.

Voting Breakdown: highest vote: 8, lowest vote: 13. I'll note that the difference between Spotlight at twelve and the yet-to-be-named player at eleven were separated by a single vote. Also, the two of them had among the smallest variance in voting as far as low to high. Both topped out at eight and bottomed out at 13. PCTI views the yet-to-be-named player at eleven and Spot in much the same way.

PCTI Lifetime Record: 1-1

Lifetime Stats: 5.5 ppg (12^th, when looking at PCTI scoring stats it jumps out that there's three distinct groups. Six guys who average double figures, five guys who average around 7.5 ppg, and five guys who average between 6 and 4 points. Spot is narrowly the top scorer of the third group), 2.1 rpg (15^th, I've tried not to editorialize too much because there's a lot of people who have better observations on how everyone plays than me, that's why I've stuck with the numbers. However, I think Spot crashes the boards at a high rate, which opens up things for more capable rebounders (read: taller, bigger) to get the ball. I'd love to see some advanced statistics on a 'tries to rebound percentage.' Sabin, get on this for next year. Also, I almost when parenthesis inside parenthesis, inside parenthensis on this thought. Wow!!) 1 block (15^th,, anyone remember this occurrence?), 4 steals (15^th, obviously Spot and the other expansion players are going to hurt in the accumulated stats), 38.1 percent shooting (10^th), 33.3 percent from three (5^th, an elite percentage in PCTI (and only PCTI.) 12 makes, 36 tries) and the all important Sabin Productivity Rating: 28 (15^th, ahead of only Wes)

Lifetime Bests: 14 points (PCTI III, game 3), 4 rebounds (multiple times), 3 assists (multiple times)

Other Notes: Spotlight is PCTI's most underrated player and the voting wasn't even close. Paco got 35 percent of the vote.

He also got a vote for favorite teammate and one for the guy who has played most out of his mind, apparently from someone who really remembers and discredits the ANGELIE! Game of the Kittens Disaster (PCTI III, game three.) Spot got 18 percent of the vote for most excelling in off-court activities, putting him in a three way tie for second. Ready to be annoyed? The two guys he's tied with: A-Hop and Beas.

I don't think it's a spoiler to tell you that one guy ran away with the Best Looking superlative. But the only other guy to get multiple votes (two) was Spotlight.