PCTIIIIII Vidstick #1

PCTIIIIII Kick-Off Party with a couple important announcements.

Breaking

The Nature Boy is making a move from the mountains of California, to the greenest city in the USA, Portland, OR.  What is even more fitting is that I will be selling one of nature's most lucrative fruits, tomatoes.  Lipman is the largest field tomato grower in North America.   Although I will be based out of Portland; I will be spending a significant amount of time in Seattle, WA and Vancouver, BC as well.  All fabulous spots for enjoying NAITCH.

What this means for PCTI:

1. I have heard that there are a plethora of gymnasiums filled with semi-athletic white boys.  This should bode well for PCTI IIIIIIII prep. 
2. Southwest flies direct to Denver.  The flight looks to be a little over 2 hrs and fairly cheap.  Thank GOD that PCTI didn't end up in dusty ass Chatty, or the murder capital Cincy.
3. Hops can come and truly enjoy his hipster swag in the hipster mecca.
4. DTOMFS and Naitch's rivalry will heat up not only in the realm of PCTI, but also professionally.
5. Every time Wes-Fil-A munches down on bag full of double-stacks at Wendy's he can think of Naitch.  Lipman is a major supplier of Wendy's tomatoes.
6. I will remain on Best Coast Time.  This will make it more convenient for the star of Talents Web Series, McKinney, and myself to enjoy our first phone call whenever that may be.
7. Only downside is that I am still far, far away from the SpotLight.

Capt. WILSON

I'm not sure what took Ben so long to get this up on the blog so I guess I'll have to do it for him.

If you’re not first, your last

So after all the harassment I was getting I put this together in my 30min 'meeting' that I schedule for myself, by myself, and for myself this afternoon to get this shit done. 

I’ve broken things down below between Things To Do and Hoops, but I’d like to start off by addressing my competition (comedy and flashy things will only get you so far):

1.       Denver (the hot favorite) – I don’t get why Denvare is the favorite here, the average temperature in April is somewhere in the mid-40s.  Might as well have this damn thing in Wisconsin and cut the cost by 2/3 and let Abe bang allthe fat chicks he can get his hands on.  The big mouths in this thing are getting more and more west coast and we all need a reality check. 

2.      Chattanooga (never count out the persuasion of a dude called Smo)– being that my in-laws live here should be enough for anyone that’s ever had a girlfriend to spare me the misery of having the conversation of why I can’t see them when I’m in town for what will be my 2^nd visit of the calendar year (up from my usual 1 – best son-in-law in the biz).  Secondly, it’s Chattanooga – regardless of what type of polish and jiz Smo throws at this thing.

Now, on to the important stuff:

THINGS TO DO

What’s cool about Cincy?

·         Obvi – Mitchel Goosen and his film Airborne was filmed there – should I just stop now?

§  He jumped over a car… no big deal

·         There is something to do for everyone

o   Live Music erry night – BenJAMin, wannabe JT, Hops

o   Food!!  Montgomery Inn has the best ribs in the biznass and the greatest collection of sports memorabilia you will ever see – Wes, EVERYONE (and I’m not even mentioning my own parents restaurant.

o   1 or 3 US Hofbrauhaus in the US – home of the 48oz beer  - Bruise, everyone

§  http://www.hofbrauhausnewport.com/the-beer/

·         Be sure to scroll down and peep the waitress and their outfits

o   Kings Island – most badass roller coasters on the planet – EVERYONE

§  Think of what you did when you were a kid on a basketball trip, water or theme park central – now imagine it with booze and while all the HS dbags are in school

·         FIREHAWK Bitches!!

o   Nightlife – EVERYONE –think about how many Bengal arrests have happened around town just because they can’t stop having fun

§  Chill spots, club spots, you want it…I know where it is

o   Cougars – Beas, Smo, DEUCE!

o   Aquarium – Pitto, Abe (the penguin room is freezing so it will be just like Denver)

o   Zoo – Pitto, Esk (great family getaway for you two, 2^nd ranked zoo outside of Saint Diago)

o   Historical significance – Spotlight, the man loves his knowledge

§  http://www.cincymuseum.org/historymuseum

o   Bob Huggins once coached there – Esk

o   Some old people live there – Sabin

o   Some people don’t talk there – Bmac

o   Terrible sportscasters blow dix there – BC (another new job out of a PCTI trip?)

HOOPS

Now that you all are sold as a bitch on the city – let me tell you what the hoops will be all about.

·         Gym – options, options, options

o   Dude I played with in HS is the Facility and Operations manager at my old HS

o   My dad’s buddy is the Gym teacher at a different HS

o   My mom’s homegirl is the principal of Highlands HS in N Ky (closest proximity)

§  We will be able to decide on where and when and it will be cheaper than years past

·         Hotel – have in with local Marriot, should be cheap and right down town

·         Referees – know HS refs in the area that should be able to sign up at cost (even a 3^rd one Pitto!)

·         Stats people – guaranteed to be improved versus PCTI IV

·         New!!! – I maintain full and sole ownership over the following ideas

o   Exhibition! – I’ve already talked to a handful of guys that love what is PCTI and I thought it would be a cool way to get a decent run in on Wed  (easy to get 10-12) - all PCTI members in town on same squad  versus the exhibition squad -- 3 15 minute “quarters” (subject to change) so everyone gets some good floor time in

§  Hoping Deuce could film and have BC interview both teams to get some outside views on our games and this whole thing

§  Gets the PCTI group together for once before we hate each other for three days

o   3pt contest – happens right after the exhibition and can go one of two ways – 1. You enter yourself and compete  2. You nominate someone from the Washington Generals exhibition squad to shoot for you

§  $10-$20 per guy, and we can agree on odds (blog post!) and have side action as necessary

·         All rules subject to change to better the event

o   Mind is always moving and I guarantee another couple new ideas prior to event tipoff

It’s not complicated fellas, it will be on the cheap side for those of you still paying off last year’s PCTI and just as fun…I guarantee it.  Just fuckin vote Cincy now and save the other two the embarrassment.

~ Your Friendly Neighborhood Cockboy

 

Which one are you?

Sound off in the comments...

PCTI IV All Tournament and MVP

It is that time of year again, to announce PCTI All-Tournament Team and MVP. Just to recap, in the past we have had an MVP, defensive MVP, and 3 AT Team members. This year we got rid of the defensive MVP. In the most evenly matched and competitive PCTI ever (IMHO), we had many people get votes. We had 11 people get at least one AT vote and 4 people get at least one MVP. I’m not positive but I believe both are records (especially with there being one less spot to vote for).  In fact there was a 3 way tie for the last AT team spot, which caused more delays. So congrats to these 4 ballerz which are the top 25% of the most average group of basketball players.

First to the people that received votes: Cockstick (1), Eskittles (1), Run BMC (2), Bruise (4), Benji (4). The 3 way tie was for Sabin (1 MVP, 4 AT), Dr. J (5 AT) and our first member of the PCTI IV AT Team:

Brent Carney  (5 AT) – he beat out Sabes and JT after the three people that did not vote for one of these 3 cast a vote and he received all 3 votes. This is BC’s second award in the 4 year history of PCTI, the first was Defensive MVP year 1, which awarded him the captain position for year two. BC averaged 6.7 PPG and 7.6 RPG in IV. He had the 2^nd highest Efficiency rating (83) and the highest rating (63) in the most important measurable, Sabin’s Productivity. Led the league in blocks with 7. BC had one of the most memorable highlights of the year when he hummed a basketball at our 13 year old referee, earning him a T from said teenie bop.

Josh Pitto (2 MVP, 6 AT) – Another AT team member adds his second piece of hardware to his trophy case. This shifty headcase of a point guard is one of the toughest matchups in PCTI. His quickness and ball handling coupled with his ability to finish and deep range makes it hard for him to be kept in check all weekend. Putting up some very good numbers for the weekend averaging 12.4 points a game, including a 21 point game 1. Pitto shot the ball at a high clip making 47.5% of his FGA and making 42.9% of his 3 point shots, both of which led all PCTI members.

Michael Beasley, QP (4 MVP, 9 AT) – The Nature Boy burst on to the scene of PCTI last year in Game 4, but did not get any accolades due to the lack of overall competition in PCTI III. This year he showed a fiery competitive side by going all out on both ends. The numbers from his weekend do not pop out at you, but his leadership, defensive and offensive play, and crashing the offensive glass made his overall play stand out. Beasley did a great job keeping Joe Thompson in check all weekend and also sealed game 7 by hitting some clutch free throws.

MVP:

ABE, QP (9 MVP, 7 AT) – The only person to have some sort of vote from all 16 people, adds another MVP, his second overall, along with his 2 previous AT Team selections. That makes him the only person to take home an award all 4 years of PCTI (no one else has hit 3 yet). Joshua led PCTI in scoring at 12.6 PPG and his team in rebounding at 6.6 boards a game. His Sabin Productivity (43) suffered probably due to having to carry much of the offensive load for his team. JJ was also called to defend a multitude of the opposing teams better offensive players and help control the glass. Having 7 games in 3 days (and a round of golf) and going out each night makes this MVP that much more impressive. This also sealed Abraham as the only player not to lose a PCTI series in 4 years. Congrats!

Next Father Odds

To celebrate Danie’s little person being brought into this world, Sabin axed for the odds for the next member of PCTI to become a father. Without further ado, here are the odds with the reason for all PCTI members:

Name Odds Reason Cockstick EVEN Vegas has this guy as the favorite to next knock up his old lady. Everything is there for the taking: Good job, married a couple years, friends having babies, and CD finishing up school. Plus they are both babez. #more'grampics Sabin 3-1 Mormons love having kids. All 3 families I know that are mormon have 5 kids or more. Jeff is sitting at 2. He needs to get moving. I have confidence this old mans little guys can still swim strong. #blondehairblueeyes Bruiser 4-1 Odds for Bruise have been plummeting. Once a party man that could drink 40 beers in one night, now has escaped the big city life and moved to Spring Hill. I also think of him raising his strong hand towards Pitto like he was going to spank him in a game. #fatherfigure Doctor Actor 6-1 Parties it up, does drugs, and knows aspiring actresses girls with low self-esteem. I see him getting strung out on Molly and slipping one past the goalie. Being a devout catholic will make sure the baby momma doesn’t get an A word #noabortion Abe 6-1 This guy likes to party and engage in delightful sexual experiences. Chances of him being drunk and getting some chick prego makes him a good candidate. #QP #playa Big BC 8-1 My money is on BC for a middle of the road odds. Has a fiance, so he's probably getting laid on the reg. He has his BFF who just had and kid and does not want to be too far behind. I give it a year. #honeymoonbaby Fruity Juice 9-1 Only reason he doesn't have better odds is he has to wait til he and KK can knock boots again. Seeing as how women tend to want children close together, I see them getting right back to it. #daddyof5 Nature 10-1 Model-esque looks, having game, and being a member of the QP helps his odds. He also is the Nature Boy which we know the outdoors is a powerful aphrodisiac. Random sloots coming through Tahoe helps as well #QP #bestlooking Spotlight 10-1 Good looking dude with probably the best hair in PCTI. If Angilee would move to Boston his odds would be much better. Probably one of the most father ready guys in this thing. #QP #hipsterswag Grizzly 12-1 Ben has really come into his own recently and been puttin it to some strange. Tinder and travel for work has helped the odds as well. Smart enough kid to pull out #tinderpimp Deuce 15-1 Deuce had a kid… convinced his brother it was his. I hope not to be around if he has another. #THEMAN Run BMC 20-1 Steady girlfriend, steady job. Also lives in paradise. This should be a favorite to have a baby soon, but people that should have babies, usually don't. #luckyguy HOPS 25-1 Married to a fine piece of ass. Still very immature. Both he and his wife start school in August which will shelve the baby wanting for a couple years #QP #hateskids Bad Boy 50-1 New job, new city. Plus he will be trying to impress the other coaches and will be working non stop. Good odds if you think he could meet some strange on the road in the Conference USA. #hardworker Smo 75-1 This dude is super ugly. He has man braces (sorry Abe). 3 things that drag him out of worse odds: 1) he loves fat chicks. 2) He is funny. Funny gets you laid 3) If he somehow bags a hot chick, he will try and impregnate her. #uglyduckling Pitt 200-1 Rumors of a girlfriend will not allow Vegas to lower these odds. The most annoying immature person in PCTI makes the ladies run away screaming. Remember Manti Te'o supposedly hung out with his "girlfriend" too. #catfish Fat Wes Not Available Things working against this dude: His weight, living and working in a shit hole, liking baseball, Young Life. #gross