PCTI VI Quick Storylines by Player

Guys: As we get closer, and the blog gains steam, I wanted to do some quick hits and storylines by player to keep an eye on the next month until the draft....

• Abe Unit: After pouring his heart out to the group twice in the last two months, is he really ready to regain his old form and dominance, or is it guilt taking over and he's nothing more than a streaky option.
• Flying Bryan: Only player in PCTI who has gotten better every year.  Finally shook the label of perennial breakout candidate, and now is a steady, quiet option that gives his all, helps in a variety of ways, and doesn't require massive ball consumption.
• W. Murray State University: Classic example of BC's comment in the email thread about how there really is no breakout candidate, and rather guys that just play better one year to the next.  Had his shot been  even close to what it usually is, Wes would have had a huge PCTI5.  Tenacious defender and effort on the glass is second to none, look for a big year.
• Sir AHop: Look for Hops to get re-focused on his strengths after getting away from them the last few years.  Gone are the days of facilitating with the dribble and shot, back are the days of defense, well timed cuts, and even better timed rebounds.
• Smo's Rim: After a move to Dallas was expected to skyrocket Smo's PCTI career, he has quietly stepped away from the game almost entirely, thus erasing his once decorated quick sky hook.  Expect him to continue shooting almost 100% on mid ranges the D forces him to shoot, finding the trash buckets by avoiding the crowd, and taking advantage of the Bruise's one year absence with more post play.
• Actor: Re-dedicated to PCTI and competitive basketball, the Actor has frequented with the likes of Jalen Rose, Terrell Owens, and many other ex-professional athletes.  Although he won't want to admit it, and will continue claiming injury issues, expect Act to come into PCTI playing some of the best ball of his life.
• Dan the Yogurt Man: In an effort to groom all facets of his game, Dan gave up the 5-on-5 game in favor of competitive 3-on-3, putting a focus on ball handling, individual defense, and an inside out game.  Playing upwards of 4 times a week should yield positive results.
• Bambi Carney: Has managed to become the perennial top pick every year due to lack of downside, and has delivered on that promise year in and out.  With BC, you know you're getting all the things no one else wants to do.  Crash the o-glass, occupancy of the elbows, and guarding the Bruiser.  With no Bruise to bang with, there should be an even more fresh BC to attack the glass.
• Ben N' Noble Booksellers: After observing him at the C-ORR-T for Smo's wedding, what he would think was one of his worst performances, I thought was alarming for whoever he plays against in PCTI VI.  His body control was phenomenal, his defense fantastic, and ability to get the shots he wanted was uncanny.  
• Spot Unit: Being thrust into a leadership role can make people go one of two ways, in Spot's case, I expect it to be a positive.  A part time coach, he knows what he likes in a player.  He's gotten better every year despite now being the elder statements of the group.  The ability to get his feet set and shot off quicker than anyone will yield positive results every year, as he's a natural born shooter.
• Scotty D: We all know his game, but the guy is fiercely competitive, and will have an agenda this year to remind everyone of what he can do.  Was riding a PCTI high two years ago, but has cooled after a year away.  Expect him to be throwing his even bigger body around and with no Bruiser around, look for him to try and impose his will and gain his reputation back.
• Nature Boy: Although not playing as much as he has in the past, will be in just as good of shape, and I expect his shot to be falling more than last year.  Will bring his A+ effort game with no question, but how he will handle not only organizing the weekend, but dealing with the pressure of potentially being the top pick remains to be seen.
• Deuce: MVP every year, this will never change.

Not enough time to edit this post, so apologies for the typos.

Roommate Mock Draft PCTI IIIII

Fuck the real draft. Everyone knows your roommates for the weekend are the most important aspect of PCTI. They are with you for virtually 100% of the weekend.

This the First Mock Roommate Draft of PCTI IIIIII. Additionally, I just counted out how many Roman Numerals and it is crazy/awesome that we are now in our 6^th year. Total tribute to everyone here for sticking around for pedestrian basketball, great nights of drinking, and love/hating everyone in this thing.

I picked these 4 captains out of a hat at random: 1) Donley, 2) Danielle, 3) TAFKAS (The Artist formerly known as Smo), and 4) Bestie (BMac).

1^st Pick: BC.

Pros: Witty banter; “yes” man; silent sleeper

Cons: Shady; will never be in possession of a roomkey; married

Donley gets the ultimate funny man and a guy who goes with the flow. The ultimate “yes man” to any situation looks great on paper until he shades out on you to hang with Wes. Donley will thoroughly enjoy being in control of always having a room key that BC will forget approximately 48 times throughout the weekend.

2^nd Pick: Spotlight

Pros: Exceptional conversationalist; drinks heavily; great sense of direction

Cons: may have Malaria or West Nile Virus; QP loyal; bout to be wifed up.

This pick reunites DK with his Boston Bro, Paco. DK is beyond excited Paco falls right into his lap at the #2 spot. Long talks about Boston, Augustana, and basketball makes this an easy sell for DK. Although, he won’t be too thrilled having to sleep with a net around his bed, and waking up in the middle of the night when Paco stumbles into the room at 4am, DK will chalk it up to the cost of doing business.

3^rd Pick: Ben Wilson

Pros: Works at the Vandy Bookstore; sneaky funny; single

Cons: Hairy like animal; sweats through shirts

This pick reunites two bros who share love for the worst place on earth: Chattanooga. The Artist knows exactly what he is getting into by drafting Ben. Great humor, a former bestie, and a great sidekick. Ben always comes equipped with a foam roller but manages to leave his lint roller. The Artist will come prepared and shave this potentially hairy situation. Allah, I’m good.

4^th Pick: Doctor

Pros: Hollywood stories; HILARIOUS; single

Cons: pale; sensitive; is he Jewish or Christian?

Pretty easy pick. BMac picks his bestie and the guy who makes him laugh the most. BMac, now that he is married, won’t need to worry about potentially bad situations with females as the Actor has no game and he is now the palest person in PCTI (thanks Saybin).

5^th Pick (snake back to BMac): Wes

Pros: best eater in PCTI; craft beer specialist; laid back

Cons: best eater in PCTI; technology deficient; MARRIED

BMac assures himself of great sleeping for the entire weekend. Wes lays low, knows his way around an IPA, and can eat with the best of ‘em. On the flipside, BMac will find himself constantly answering burning questions about “email” and “iPhone 4 applications,” which may lead to a rare BMac snap. Wes gets to talk trash to his favorite adversary, the Doctor. Peaches n’ cream Fireworks in room 112!

6^th Pick (TAFKAS): Hops

Pros: Ringleader; night owl; sneaky funny

Cons: try to sell you insurance you don’t need; QP loyal; MARRIED

The Artist lets Ben get his ear and drafts Hops. The Artist appreciates that he doesn’t have to be in charge of anything for the weekend except driving duties and happily lets Hops be in the ringleader on the activities front. This room has everything covered: nightly plans, inside jokes for the weekend, constant shit-talking, and insurance premiums. As 2 of 3 the men in room 1999 will be married, don’t expect too much canoodling except from Ben, our PCTI Canoodling Expert.

7^th Pick (DK): Beas

Pros: Like totally chill, mun; devastatingly great-looking, Portlander

Cons: probably wears Toms, refuses to eat GMOs, QP loyal

DK refuses to let his best Brentwood bro fall any further and snags Beas. By having two of the QP in the same room, DK can start working on breaking up the worst faction in the history of PCTI. Beas’ laid back, sleep anywhere demeanor means DK and Paco won’t have to share a bed all weekend. Paco and Beas are two of the resident late night partiers which may create some friction for DK. Will DK’s power moves set these two dogs nightly habits straight or will it be a 3 Dog Night?

8^th Pick (Donley): Abe

Pros: Easy going; drinks like a sailor; calves

Cons: Workaholic; gets injured while rebounding; QP loyal

The Saybin pick (last man out) goes to Abe in this mock draft. Donley gets to lead his aimless roommates to all events and take responsibility for their belongings. Abe gets to bond with Donley about working all the time. BC, Donley, and Abe get to showcase the body dichotomy of PCTI posts players. Although it was close, this room will take the best looking trophy in stride. It’ll be really hot in this room. Like 98 degrees hot.

Mock Draft Email Exchange

AHOP: Yo Brentley, I thought we could entertain ourselves and possibly others who may tune in to the blog with a new (Maty) Mauk draft. But first, give us an update on the Reubs. I see things on Instagram and hear he's just about blind? Hope he's doing ok!

This is hard for me to pick who to choose for since Bin is someone who tolerates me often and Spot, QP is in a 3 way tie for my best friend in the whole world. I assume most people would say I would want to draft for a fellow QPer, so I'm going opposite and I'll draft for Been. I know he's acting like he is choosing between 1 and 2, but without the snake aspect in play, you have to know he's going 1. Before I take my first pick, any thoughts to get the juices flowing?

BC: I’m liking this ida. But dibs on not posting any of this to the blog. Your idea, your job to post. 

Reuben got sick right after Christmas and is 100 percent blind. Good news is, he gets around like a champ. Only place it's really hurting us is with the never ending vet visits. Didn't know eye specialists for animals even existed, now I'm first name basis with my guy. Never the less, I'll dedicate my PCTI performance this coming season to the little fella who spiced up red wine night on the eve of PCTI II. 

As for the draft, I think six aside cuts down on the overall importance. Since the real advantage to gain, I would argue is in building depth. I feel like we could grab names out of a hat and have a pretty close series playing 6v6. Still, I love a good mock, so lets do this. 

You start and I will take the role of SPOTLIGHT. Which, for the record, is a nickname I created.

BC: I misspelled the fourth word of my first email. No worries, I'll bounce back.

AHOP: You'll bounce back, you always do. Also, we will all be playing for Reuben. I would love to see a "Sportscenter Special" type 10 min video of how this has made your family stronger and has motivated you to be even better at PCTI.

I agree with you, depth is gone and you just have to hope the guys you draft are ready to play big minutes. Last year was a weird situation and we got our asses kicked. I am with you and think it will be super competitive.

Also, GREAT job on that nickname. The fact he has nicknames for different groups of guys is awesome. The fact that they are Paco and Spotlight are even better. Kudos to you for giving one of the best nicknames since the Bash Brothers in D2. 

On with the Mock:

As Ben, I am thinking of getting someone that will compliment my game on and off the court, but also needs some top talent. I think Beas should go number one overall, but if I'm Wilson, I go with a big and see what Spot does at 2 knowing it would be tough to give up so much size early. Because of that, the fact Abe was a mess last year, and this guy has someone he's playing for:

With the first overall selection in PCTISIX, I select: Brent "Pun" Carney!

BC: For most of last year, I was the fourth best player on my team and yet here I am, the top pick in the draft. God bless America.  

I get it, though. I'm a comfort pick, mostly because I take care a lot of the stuff nobody really wants to do, ie rebound, hang around the post, screen, etc. Plus, it's a top pick that you can get away with without feeling like you handed over the keys (and by keys, I obviously mean the ball) to someone else. You grab me, you're still in a good spot to shape your team however you choose. You don't (and would be foolish to) plan around what I do. 

Now as Spot at two, I'm going to ride a gut feeling and say that he goes with Beas in the two spot. I think Spot is shrewd enough to go best available at this point in the draft and I think he sees Beas as a guy who's stock is soaring after last season. Having played with them last year, I think Spot really appreciate what Beas does and obviously there personal affinity for each other is well-documented. 

This makes for a really interesting next couple of rounds. Joe and Abe are still dangling in the wind. A disrespected Abe is a dangerous thought and Joe is a proven top notch player who continues to get better (relative to everyone else) each year. Does Ben go jumbo on the size front and go with Abe? In my eyes Abe is the most interesting piece in the draft... 

AHOP: Great point on Joe and Abe. Last year Joe showed flashes, but was not the Joe that controls both ends of the floor. He was hampered by an injury which limited him. Abe had a rough year last go, and I think he is going to be back to the fun loving non-host that we all love. 

Beas is in my opinion the top talent in the draft, but with Spot and Beas, they are struggling w size which could prove to be rough with rebounding.

Because of that, I as Bin Wilsan, pick Abe. Abe, as you stated, is the most interesting piece. He can play at an MVP level, but last year he was in a funk, and that is a kind way of saying it. Bin starting with BC and Abe would be a start to a BIG lineup and would force Spot to start thinking of going after a big. 

Who do you think will be the most improved this year from last? Or do you think "improvements" at this point in PCTI aren't going to happen?

BC: That pick makes sense to me. Every captain forms a team that looks out for his own strengths as a player. Some guys may do it more intentionally than others but nobody is going to put together a team where they have to play a role that is uncomfortable to them. In your scenario, Ben has assembled a team where he'll never have to handle any of the big man duties and is free to roam on the perimeter. 

At this point, the draft playing out this way makes one guy's status very, very interesting: Donley. Don't get me wrong, I don't know that a "big" team versus a "small" team really matters too much. Consider that true post ups are few and far between and size in terms of rebounding really only matters if you're working under the assumption that all ten guys are going to the glass. In PCTI that's never the case. Really, the rebounding edge goes to the team that bothers to have more of its guys step inside the three point line when a shot goes up, regardless of how big they are. Notice I don't even say a team must "have more of its guys crash the boards" or "have more of its guys box out," In PCTI the most minimal effort in rebounding (and defense) can tip the scales. Basically, the team that has the fewest guys who don't completely not try at all usually has the edge. With that said, I think size does have a value in that for a non post guy, it's just annoying to have to guard a big guy. It's not that I think that every guard in this league couldn't stop me in the post (I'm positive they all can) or keep me off the glass (again, effort) but how many really want to? That's where Donley is supremely important. A guy who relishes in playing physical, running, screen setting, etc. Again, every captain is going to look out for himself and at some point Spot has to think, if I keep drafting guards and they keep picking forwards, I'm gonna have to guard one of them. Not to mention, in terms of Donley, before having to miss last year, he was ahead of me on many people's draft boards. Yet this year I go first and he's still unclaimed. Where he goes will be interesting to monitor. 

In a way, that kind of answers your most improved question. I think at this point improvement is only relative to how people have played in their recent past. In other words, I don't think anyone is going to show up as a better version of themselves but I do think somebody who has struggled to play up to their potential in recent PCTIs is likely to get back to form. That's what we saw from Ben Wilson last year. Was he improved? Not really. But his performance was definitely an improvement over past sessions. In that scenario, Donley may be most improved, simply because we've mostly forgot what he's capable of and he's gotta be chomping at the bit to get back out there. I liken this to my golf game. If I have a couple of really bad holes in a row, at some point I'm standing on a tee box and it just comes to me, "man, it's not THAT hard. I am by no means great but I can at least stop sucking. Just stop thinking and pressing and play." That's really where improvement comes from in PCTI. It's the guys who remember that although they're not great at basketball, they don't suck and need to quit playing like they do. Danny last year was another example of this. So who busts out this year? How about you...or maybe Smo...or maybe Abe? Tough call. 

On to the next pick. Like the Abe pick a round before, I don't think you can overthink it. It's much easier to get "cute" with the snake format. Since we're alternating picks, if I'm Spot I love that I can not only get Actor here but I can get an Actor who has plenty of reason to feel disrespected. You take Act and you have a team that is going to spread the floor, share the ball and is athletic and energetic enough to completely make up for any lack of front court player.

Beginning with your next pick, I think this thing really starts to get interesting...

AHOP: I agree with you on the most improved. I will add this as well: I think over the next few years, you will see people stay the same as far as their talent level goes, but a decline in other's games. We are getting to the point where age is going to be a factor and who stays active and healthy. I know for me PCTI is a big driver in me wanting to stay in good shape. Also, I hate fat people. It will be interesting to see how it goes.

I think Joe is a solid pick there. He has shown that he can be the best player on the floor and is usually better when he is "disrespected". I think the biggest question is will Joe be healthy for a full 7 game series. If so getting him at the 4 pick is most likely the best value in the draft. 

I was going to say the exact same thing about the post players and their ability to score on people. It is just a physical grind to guard the post and keep them off the glass. I think if Ben, Abe, and you are consistently hitting the o boards, that is going to be so tough on the other team. Offensive rebounds are the easiest way to break a team's spirits and get easy points. But as you stated, it is mostly effort over size.

With that being said, I would take DK with the next pick. To channel my inner Hubie Brown, "here's a guy that is going to outwork his opponent and the guy he's guarding work for every inch." DK honestly should probably go in the top 3. Everyone loves playing with him, he always plays hard and smart, and he wants to win. Badly. I thought DK was GREAT last year. It will be interesting to see if the captains agree with me on that.

BC: So lets look at where it stands as of now.

Ben

BC

Abe

Danny

Spot

Beas

Joe 

(on the clock) 

Danny fits really well with that group to move the ball and be the top defender. Danny played really well last year and his value should reflect that but the biggest strength for Danny harkens back to your first point on conditioning. Great call by you on that as I think that will become a huge factor (even more so than before) and this year with six guys out there it will matter from the second half of game one onward. Danny is the biggest lock in this thing to be in better shape than everyone else and to be able to play with high energy from start to finish. 

I think Spot grabs Donley here and now I now I think we're starting to see the identities really form. Spot's squad is gonna play fast and shot a lot of threes. Ben's squad is a bit more plodding. If you're Donley here you have to hope you get Smo later in the draft so you're not stuck constantly having to be the token "big guy." 

Great Hubie Brown impression in your last email, by the way. 

As the draft goes on, when are you gonna pull the trigger on yourself? That sounded dirty but I'm leaving it. 

AHOP: The only reason I would pull my trigger is because I know Spot likes me (for some reason) and Ben has to see me more now so he might get me early, otherwise I'm in the mix for the Wes Murray award for last picked.

As far as the guys who are in the best shape, I think DK, Beas, and Spot are 3 that don't get as tired or don't let their fatigue affect their play. Is there anyone else that comes to mind? I also think zone defense will be more prominent this year than in past years with only 6 guys per team. This makes me sad that we won't have at least 7 guys there. Moving on...

Ben snags BMac here. You know what you are getting with him and also helps relieve Ben from having to guard one of the guys who moves around a lot on D. He's going to knock down shots and spread the floor. Good addition here for Ben's team.

BC:

Ben 

BC 

Abe

Danny

McKinney

Spot

Beas 

Joe

Donley

(On the clock) 

Spot could make a tactical move here and scoop up Smo, knowing that he is likely to lose out on the last available big guy if he doesn't pick him right here. Instead I think he drafts you. Congratulations, you've just been reinvented as your team's starting power forward. Do you brand yourself as the Abe Stopper? That would then put Donley on me and either of the other three to decide who guards Ben. I'd say that's a pretty good defensive counter to our obvious size advantage. 

Usually the last couple of picks feel like it's just finishing things out. But again this year it's a little more interesting considering there's only six guys per team. It just occurred to me that if the real draft follows our mock, the bench scoring statistic will actually just be a one-on-one battle between Smo and Wes. This I like. 

AHOP: LOVE THAT PICK! Man! What value. I am hoping to stay out of the bottom of the draft, but like everyone else on my team last year, I was pretty awful. 

I would love to say Ben would take Wes and finally relieve him of his post for last pick, but there's not enough there to do that. With Wes you get a guy that hustles and hits the boards, but Smo is bringing more to the table. Smo occassionally gets into foul trouble, but still alters shots and is disruptive on D. Smo also has not been a threat of offense, but he doesn't turn the ball over. 

Ben going with Smo is also an easy pick since he has been going for the bigger team from the jump. This would be an interesting team with their size and would have a huge advantage on the boards. So the final teams are:

Ben 

BC 

Abe

Danny

McKinney

Smo

Spot

Beas 

Joe

Donley

AHop

Wes

If Spots team could keep Ben's team off the glass and not get worn down, I would assume they would win. With Spot Beas and Joe, if they are running and gunning, they could potential have a couple blow out games. Ultimately, I would give Ben's team the advantage if it were to shake out like this. Any last thoughts or predictions before we have the real draft? I'm fired up!

BC: I've stared at both teams for a few minutes and I'm not positive who I'd set as the morning line favorite. Probably doesn't matter because I'm pretty sure the team I thought was better has lost in every PCTI since the kitten's disaster. 

I think this year with smaller benches it will feel more like a pickup game, which I believe has its plusses and minuses. Our (I'm now back to assuming my own identity, fyi) team will be tough in a close game. Your team seems like the likelier candidate to get a blowout win. But because there are fewer subs, people will have to take possessions off. That means bigger runs, as a team gets up and rests while the other team goes all out to get back in it. I think there will be wild lead swings but I don't anticipate too many blowouts. 

Everyone will have a chance to play big minutes and touch the ball a lot. Some people will use this to get in a rhythm and have a career year. Others will probably get beat down by a few negative plays and play worse than they thought they were capable of. It'll be fun to watch how everyone manages the big minutes and who can do the best job at maintaining a level performance. 

Socially, I'm excited to experience the weirdness of Portland. Of note, how will our recently married men Smo, Bmac and Wes do as they experience their first PCTI as caged animals? What about Spot travelling coast to coast? You're foolish to overlook that he's now the PCTI elder statesman and may not be able to handle the transcontinental grind.  What about Don? How does he manage getting back in to the flow without overcompensating and blowing all his energy early? Can Ben manage a job without jeopardizing his basketball? Will Dan's rejuvenation and suddenly rosy attitude soften his game or will it lead to him staying awake past 8:30 and/or being able to stay seated at a meal for longer than 10 minutes? 

I'll tell you this much, I'm ready for the real draft. I need a team to rally behind and a team to start hating.

Lastly, don't forget I already volunteered you to post this. 

PCTI IIIIII Captaincy Reveal, Part Deux

Sweet 16 x PCTI

As the (too) Sweet 16 gets set to tip today, I thought I’d take a moment out of my super busy schedule to throw up a post honoring the madness that is March.  Is it a coincidence that only 16 teams remain in the tournament and that PCTI’s strongest years were attended by 15 warriors plus Pitto?  Of course it is, don’t be silly.  Having said that, let’s get into a post featuring everyone’s favorite mechanism:  Lists!  I matched each of the core PCTI’ers with one of the teams left in the tourney and I’ll explain why.  The only method to my selections was that there was no method—it could be anything from playing style to me having one team left to fill and just putting whoever was left there.  I’ll start with the top seeds and work down.  Let’s swan dive right into it…


1-seed Kentucky—Abe:  UK is the most dominant team in the tourney, and Abe is historically the most dominant player in PCTI.  UK is gigantic, and Abe is a large person.  UK looks like they’ll be cutting down the nets come April 6, and I think Abe is poised to have a bounce back year in IIIIII and re-establish his PCTI dominance, as indicated by his passionate electronic mail response to DTOMYS’s initial amp-up correspondence.

1-seed Duke—Pitto:  Duke at its best is a high-powered offensive team who is soft defensively and underachieves.  Additionally, they are hated by everyone and no one would lose any sleep if they never watched them play basketball again.  Maybe that was a tad strong, but you get the idea…this was one of the easiest picks.  Also thanks to Coach K for one of my favorite gifs/vids.

1-seed Wisconsin—Smo:  Upset Alert!  Y’all thought I would put Donley here, but he’s disqualified because he doesn’t have a buzzcut anymore.  Above all that, Smo couldn’t look any more like a Bo Ryan Buzzcut guy if he tried!  A historically ugly team, this was a match made in heaven as Smo is a historically ugly person.  He would be such a bawse on the end of the Wisconsin bench tho, y’all know he would have the best walk-on celebrations...Kaminsky hits a dagger 3, Smo hits the pre-installed hydraulics on his bench seat, pulls some aviators out of his warm-up jacket, and ghost rides the shit out of an imaginary cargo van.  Another easy pick here…long live Buzzcut Smo.

2-seed Arizona—BenWilson:  I had a hard time placing myself so I went with Zona since I had a pair of Zona bball shorts in high school.  Additionally, I forgot where I heard this, but Arizona has been called a lite version of Kentucky due to similar playing styles, and I am an extra lite version of Abe.  I’m shorter, I cannot score as well, I’m worse defensively, I’m too streaky, and I don’t play as hard.  Arizona seems to acquire a lot of talent but they never play up to their potential and usually are overrated, a notion much in line with the superlatives my PCTI brethren bestowed upon me last year.  Now that I write it out, this was a good one for me.

2-seed Gonzaga—Nature Boy Beas:  Our resident PacNorth bro had to be paired up with this PacNorth darling of a team.  Gonzaga usually has a cute little team ever since they burst onto the scene back in whatever year it was, and if we’re trying to make our group look cute, we’re going to red rover, red rover, send Beas right over into a gaggle of women…instant underwear slushies.  The Zags are basically the opposite of Beas.  That is, they are fast starters in the regular season and always flame out earlier than usual in the tourney.  Beas is at his worst during first sessions, and plays his best in final sessions.  It’s all that fresh #nature air he gets to breathe, he’s basically doping IMO.

3-seed Notre Dame—Actor:  To be fair I could have placed the Doctor with a large number of the teams here, as he is known to pledge allegiance to a multitude of organizations near and far.  So is the life of a celebrity, always got to stay hip to the trends (winning teams) and endorse accordingly.  But those Catholic curls on top of that proportionate head of his led me to place him with his Fighting Irish.  The Irish have been one of the most devastating offensive teams in the country with the one man show that is Jerian Grant at the controls.  Joseph is one of the only guys who can get his own shot and at times he can be his own one man wrecking crew on offense when said shots are falling, as evidenced by holding the record for most points in a single game in PCTI history (30 points, PS I’m not bitter, PPS I think Beas missed two free throws at the end of PCTI5 G4 that would have put him at 31, maybe he makes them if we had any stat keepers/idea where he was at,  fun fact of the day).  Regardless he’s good at offense and at acting.  Luh u JT ;p

3-seed Oklahoma—Big Brent Carney:  Carney was one of a handful of guys I had some trouble placing.  The obvious choice was Kentucky but I locked into Abe on that one early, so I had to get creative here for BBC.  OU is a Big 12 school, and Brent now resides deep in Big 12 country.  Their main rival is Texas, whom Brent tweets about on the reg.  Their best player’s name is Buddy, and BBC is my buddy even though we’ve never played together in PCTI.  OU started 3 lefties in 05-06 and their then coach (Kelvin “I wanna talk to” Sampson) was a lefty.  Two of the greatest players in school history (No. 1 career OU scorer Wayman Tisdale and No. 5 Stacey King) were lefties.  I think that’s all I’ve got, but will update with an editor’s note if I find some more.

4-seed North Carolina—Eskildsen:  Another shorts segway, I think I remember Brian hooping in a pair of UNC shorts in the TRec back in the day so I put him here.  Doesn’t hurt that UNC eliminated his Harvard squad from the tourney this year.  B-EZ is famous for his steadying influence on the court, but on TV he looked overwhelmed by the bright lights of the tourney and his guys turtled against the mighty Tar Heels in response.  Luckily they play in a one school conference so here’s hoping he bounces back next year!

4-seed Louisville—Ahop:  Lewisville is known as a stingy defensive team who can be downright hard to watch on offense.  Ahop made his mark in college as a 3-and-D guy who could surprise people with his savviness.  As his body has started to betray him, so have the laurels that he is known for.  The D hasn’t slipped (hehe) much, he can still come at you in spurts (haha), but his once dependable stroke (lol) has betrayed him to the tune of the 2nd worst 3-point percentage in PCTI.  But I’ll be damned if he still doesn’t hit that one dagger every year.  Modern day Ahop carries a similar reputation to modern day Louisville.  Also Harrell has awesome hair, and Ahop had awesome hair at PCTI III.

5-seed West Virginia—DK:  Another upset alert!  Bet you thought I’d go with WES VIRGINIA here, with his ties to the state and what not, but remember there is no method to my madness.  DK was in the same handful as Brent, what a handful this is turning out to be!  West Virginia’s signature is the defensive pressure they put on teams from start to finish, as they’re comfortably leading the field in turnovers forced I think.  Read that somewhere anyway.  But they trap you and pester you and force you to succumb to their style of play.  DTOMYS is similar in his defensive approach to PCTI as he tries to get in his opponent’s head early.  Straight up calling out Abe last year was a bold strategy at the time, but it proved to be an effective one, as Abe had his worst PCTI.  As we’ve come to find out it was due to life getting in the way, but PCTI is life for DK, and so that was just that much more LIFE that got in Abe’s way.  Danielle is annoying when he guards you because he whispers sweet nothings to you, and he and Actor are the only two guys who pressure the ball and yell things when their man picks it up.  I envision WVU being the same way.  I also envision Dan being a big fan of Bob Huggins and wearing short sleeve rain jackets to pay tribute.

5-seed Utah—Sabin:  This one was an AND ONE! layup.  How could our resident Mormon not ride with the Utes?  I hear life is peachy in the big D for our one time infamous villain, so I wanted to give him the added bonus of being completely responsible for the team he’ll put on the court in his return to PCTI.  As for our comparison, Sabin is winless in every PCTI since its inception in 2010, and this year marks Utah’s first trip to the NCAA tourney since 2009.  That + Mormon = match.  On a cooler note, the Utah coach looks like the Undertaker so that’s tight.

6-seed Xavier—McKinney:  Don’t want to waste too many words here, but you never know Xavier is in the tournament and then dare I say they “break out” to win a game or two every time.  They quietly do their thing and leave like a whisper in the night, similar to our vocally challenged newlywed.  I opened my webcam while writing this to make sure McFish wasn’t quietly standing behind me.

7-seed Wichita State—Spotlight:  This was the third and final member of the esteemed handful I had some trouble placing.  Obviously should have just used the Princeton women’s team here and moved on, but alas here we are.  No matter what you want to say about the Shockers, all they do is show up when the SPOTLIGHT is the brightest and win a bunch of ballgames.  Maybe they weren’t the most coveted recruits, but they do all the little things to win.  That’s what you’re getting with Spotlight.  He won’t ever be highly drafted and he’s not flashy, but he’s going to make winning plays for your team no matter what you need him to do.  The Shockers are the biggest little guy in the tourney, and Spotlight is the biggest little guy on the PCTI glass.

7-seed Michigan State—Donley:  Death, taxes, Izzo in March.  Why people continue to doubt this is beyond me.  In terms of a comparison, Donley is such a Michigan State player it hurts.  Sparty always has that one white dude that starts whose sole mission is to wreck people on both ends of the floor and utilize every foul they have.  We have visual evidence of the fouls part (PCTI III picture album), and you can tell a lot about a guy by the way he dresses.  Considering I have never seen Donley wearing anything other than the tough gym bro getup (wife beater under a cutoff shirt), it was only (tightly) fitting that he be matched up with the most physical team left in the tourney.  Looking forward to seeing what celebration he’s come up with after having had an extra year to brainstorm.

8-seed NC State—Bruiser:  This was our “I only have one team left so we’re going to put Bruiser here” match.  First off, we’ll miss you this year Bruiser, get well soon, oh wait you never will because you’re having a child.  Now that we’ve cleared that up, I think it ended up working out with the Bruise and the Wolfpack *touches dog-shaped hand gesture with buddy doing same hand gesture*.  I watched NC State play one game this year and that was their win over Villanova, whom I watched zero times this year and placed in my championship game in my bracket…Jay Wright is just so smooth in those Dove Care+ soap commercials.  NC State completely mauled Villanova on the glass in that game, much the same way Bruiser gets the most intimidating rebounds in PCTI.  Even though he’s just fourth or something in PCTI rebounding, every board he gets seems to be in a group of people and he just out fights them for it, where in contrast half of my rebounds come when everyone else has started leaking out and I’m too lazy to start running and the ball falls to me.  NC State seems to be a pretty physical team like Sparty, so only fitting we had the scariest guy here.  Also their coach played at Alabama and coached Alabama for many years, and we all know Bruiser has a hat with a shocking amount of bill bend to prove his fandom to Bama, so that works too.

11-seed UCLA—Wesley:  The Brew Hens were one of the last teams selected to the tourney, and their inclusion in the dance was highly controversial.  They are the worst team remaining and have been lucky to get as far as they have.  Wes has been on the proverbial cut line for PCTI for quite some time now and is always the last pick in the draft, so it was only right to match him up with UCLA.  UCLA is a historically strong program, and Wes was once a pretty good basketball player, and now that he’s married he doesn’t have much to live for…so maybe a career renaissance is in the cards for our fearless cellar dweller.  I’m on my fourth glass of whiskey lol.


There you have it folks, your 2015 Sweet 16 x PCTI Mashup.  Please note that all stats used in this column are probably made up except for BBC’s part, I didn’t want to damage his journalistic credibility with false reporting in case he gets Googled.  Also please note that I know next to nothing about college basketball.  Are the NBA playoffs here yet?                    

PCTI 2015 Mock Draft

Sixer Talk

As I fly to LA to have breakfast with PCTI's favorite Actor, I felt like putting together a post about something I felt like talking about... Which happens to be my favorite, and also the most interesting team in professional sports, the Philadelphia 76ers.  I expect no more than three people to read this, and even less to be interested, but what the hell... Most of us look for things to take us away from work every day.

Take away from the fact that I was raised in Philadelphia (a pseudo-joke I've carried with me for 25 years that people still get annoyed by to this day), as a fan of the NBA, I find Sam Hinkie and the Sixers organization fascinating.  As a guy that enjoys the process of building a team more than actually watching the games, what they are doing is a dream scenario for me.  Very few front offices have a reputation for being ahead of the game, and I truly think (despite the fact that their record shows very few signs of life) the Sixers are in a class with the Patriots, Ravens, formally the Thunder, and Spurs for teams that always seem to make the right move (as I see it).

You really have to focus hard on the Sixers to see through the "tanking" (by the way, they still haven't been the worst team in basketball despite having the lowest payroll by far the last two years) to realize how unique their process is even though when explained it makes complete sense.  Sam Hinkie and the ownership group immediately roped the fan base in by two now famous phrases in Philly: "Trust the Process" and "Together We Build."  The brilliance of that marketing is so simple, yet made the entire city feel like they are a part of the big picture, which is why the most volatile fans on the planet have been behind every move from the very beginning.  What is Hinkie's philosophy exactly?

• Build through the draft and always take best player available.
• Identify a superstar and build around him.
• Hire a coach and let him grow with his players (any other coach in the NBA would have been fired after 20 games...).
• Have the organizations best interest and future at heart (Sixers have 25 picks the next five years evenly distributed).
• Protect the rim (Smo would fit perfectly in their defensive system).
• Big guards that can bully opposing guards down low, and big men that can shoot to draw the D out for the guards.  Basically flip flopping the norm.
• Get up the floor fast and put pressure on the defense.
• Under no circumstances build your team with a goal of anything else but a championship.

Sounds like a good plan, yet Hinkie is constantly crucified by some... But for what?  The fact that he's painfully patient, consistent, and refuses to settle?  How often do you see a GM who will put off the present for the future interest of the organization?  He has taken advantage of so many GM's in win now mode who could care less about anything past 2016.  He's gotten every pick back that the Sixers got rid of to get guys scrubs like Arnett Moultrie and Andrew Bynum.  On top of setting things up for the future, how has he drafted?  In year one he gets rid of Jrue Holiday at his highest market value imaginable, and grabs Nerlens Noel (would have been #1 overall if not coming off an injury) and Michael Carter-Williams (ROY) in one of the most beat drafts I've ever seen.  He patiently waits for Nerlens to heal, while giving MCW the opportunity to showcase his upside... This past year, after the team "tanked" he swings Joel Embiid (who most considered the best prospect in the draft and comparisons to Hakeem for great reason) who is out for the year and set the media world on fire.  He then takes El Payton, who he flips for another top 5 talent (Dario Saric) who may be the best international prospect since Dirk (6'10" PG with a hoops IQ as high as Skillz) who can't play for two years in the NBA.  Three months into the season, he sends off the only guy that appears to be a cornerstone with actual NBA repetition, MCW (who by the way is the worst shooter in the NBA) for what might end up being a top 5 pick in the next few years.  The guy refuses to settle and has no problem doing whatever it takes until he feels he has the right pieces.... Along with a first to take on Javale McGee's contract.  The Sixers could potentially have four first rounders in this years draft, along with six second rounders.  I've never seen anything as extreme as what they are doing, but damn it's been fun to follow.

If you made it this far, hopefully you find this guy (and team) as interesting as I do.  It's such a unique, crazy thing that it's convinced me they are smarter than everyone else.  If you're interested in reading a more well written article, read below... Which just so happened to be written about five days before he shipped off MCW.

http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/12318808/the-philadelphia-76ers-radical-guide-winning