PCTI - NBA Offspring, Part I

As the two-time defending champion of my fantasy basketball league, I take great pride in knowing completely irrelevant and useless information such as who is the Miami Heat's 3rd string shooting guard or when JJ Barea has a groin injury. I have found that my ability to process this seemingly trivial data has helped me to gain an edge over my league competitors, who perhaps have more meaningful lives than me and choose to spend their time in more productive pursuits.

At the same time, because I dedicate so much time to knowing NBA personnel, it gives me unique insight into who they are, how they play, and what type of game they have. For example, I could tell you that Andre Iguodala is a guy you would love to play with and have on your team, and yet you would grow to hate him if he were on your fantasy team. Given that and without further adieu, I present Part I of PCTI players and their NBA counterparts:

1) Dan Krow - Boris Diaw

I actually thought this one was relatively easy. Boris Diaw masquerades as a power forward in the box score and on the roster, but it is easy to see that he is simply a power point guard in a large body. IQ is off the charts, can do all basketball skills well, vision is unique, and chooses to beat the defense with the pass versus the dribble. Only thing that holds Boris back is his diet and weight problems.

Danny is the same. He is a power point guard who has great IQ, vision, creativity, chooses to beat you with the pass, and can do all the basketball skills well. However, Danny is also packing too much weight and constantly struggles with his diet, namely with bread and alcohol.

2) Bruiser - Steven Adams

For those who may not know, Steven Adams is the starting center for the OKC Thunder. He is an imposing mountain-of-a-man from Australia who teammates love playing with and opponents hate playing against. A constant threat to knock opponents over with screens, flying elbows, wild offensive-rebound crashes, and general rage issues.

Bruiser is Steven Adams minus the awful, slightly pornographic mustache. He is a mountain-of-a-man that imposes trepidation into his opponents' mind and spirit. Nobody likes getting into physical altercations with this guy, and for good reason. And I love seeing his inner rage monster come to play at PCTI. One of my favorites.

3) Abe - Carmelo Anthony

Carmelo is a unique scoring machine, equally adept at dominating an opponent on the block as he is swishing the 3 ball. In a one-on-one competition in the NBA, I would bet a fair amount of money that this guy would come out on top, given his size, strength, shooting ability, handle, and ability to do anything offensively that he wants. His indifference to defense keeps him from being mentioned with the best players in the game.

Abe is as dominant an offensive player as we have in PCTI. Can drive it, shoot it, post it, and otherwise offensively lead a team in every PCTI game. Helps keep his team from falling into the inevitable scoring droughts that PCTI teams experience. Probably saves a little bit on the defensive end given that he is expected to perform well on offense. Universally admired for his talent on the floor and his unabashed waitress-hounding off of it.

Spotlight - Kevin Martin

Several years ago, Kevin Martin was an all-star caliber shooting guard who routinely went for more than 20ppg. His star was on the rise given that he was a knockdown shooter and could get to the free throw line. In the past several seasons, his star has lost some luster due to his inability to get along with coaches and teammates, as well as the fact that he weighs 145 pounds. Also has an allergic reaction to rebounding and defense.

Spotlight burst on to the PCTI scene like a supernova, universally beloved an acclaimed as a favorite among many participants. His ability to knock down timely shots in games was just the cherry on top of the tantalizing sundae. However, over the past few seasons, his popularity has waned given his inability to co-exist with the BOD and his disdain for the founders' vision of the future. Also weighs 145 pounds and has allergies to rebounding.

Part II to be released soon.


Sabin