PCTI - NBA Offspring, Part II

As the two-time defending champion of my fantasy basketball league, I take great pride in knowing completely irrelevant and useless information such as who is the Miami Heat's 3rd string shooting guard or when JJ Barea has a groin injury. I have found that my ability to process this seemingly trivial data has helped me to gain an edge over my league competitors, who perhaps have more meaningful lives than me and choose to spend their time in more productive pursuits.

At the same time, because I dedicate so much time to knowing NBA personnel, it gives me unique insight into who they are, how they play, and what type of game they have. For example, I could tell you that Andre Iguodala is a guy you would love to play with and have on your team, and yet you would grow to hate him if he were on your fantasy team. Given that and without further adieu, I present Part II of PCTI players and their NBA counterparts:


1) Joe Thompson - Kyle Lowry


Kyle Lowry is a highly-coveted, competitive bulldog of a guard that has risen to the elite level over the past several seasons. He has sneaky and underrated athleticism that helps him to make plays and finish at the rim. Also very sneaky at jumping passing lanes and getting steals that few others have the opportunity to make. Unfortunately, he plays in the wasteland of Toronto, so only the most die-hard of hoops junkies know who this guy is.


Joe is also a competitive bulldog. Perhaps the best guard athlete in PCTI as well as the best "wolf" stealer of the ball. He is not somebody that you want to see in your area if you are a shaky ballhandler. Over the years, Joe has risen through the PCTI hierarchy to become one of the top players in the league. Unfortunately, Joe plays ball in the wasteland of Hollywood, so nobody ever gets to play with him.

2) Donley - Jae Crowder


Crowder came into the league as a second rounder without much expectation or fanfare. Yet, his hard work and strength of character forced his coaches to love him and find a place for him on the floor. A grinder with no defined position or skill, dude simply gives you max effort and makes contributions in every category. He defends, boards, scores, and is cockstrong. The only real criticism on his scouting report is that he has a terrible haircut.


Donley came into PCTI II as a newcomer whose talents were not fully realized behind the exploits of Abe and Mike Hite. But his strength of will forced him to be recognized with strong play and a swashbuckling style. Some call him a grinder without a true position, but he can guard anyone and the box score is stuffed with his contributions. Maybe the best nickname in all of PCTI. Unfortunately, he also has a terrible haircut.

3) Beas - Marcus Smart


An interesting study, Marcus is the rare guard who generates a lot of value to his team without having to necessarily score the ball. Smart is unique in that he plays with pre-cognition, the ability to see plays before they unfold. This gives him the ability to be disruptive and get steals on defense, as well as to make plays in the open floor before other players have reacted. Although his shooting is streaky and inconsistent, you won't find a better competitor to lead a team emotionally. Has a distaste for teammates who don't play with the same motor that he does. Can be a turd, but fully embraces this part of his personality.


Beas is a tough, hard-nosed competitor, maybe the best in all of PCTI. He is one of the few players that can own games without scoring, contributing winning plays on defense, in transition, and on the boards. Streaky shooter, but has also had games where he leads his team and the game in scoring. Demands that his team plays at the same tenor that he does, and does not like it if he senses your effort is less than his. Bit of a maverick when it comes to supporting the BOD of PCTI, and he is clearly making a play to get a write-in vote. Unfortunately, he has the worst nickname in PCTI.

4) Ben - James Harden


The Beard has been referred to as a polarizing player in the NBA. There are many who will tell you that he is among the most talented players in the league, with a tantalizing combination of shooting skill, creation, and finishing ability. His critics say that he has a tendency towards inefficiency, a shoot-first lead guard that doesn't always get his teammates involved. He has many games where he single-handedly leads his team to victory, and a few games that are forgettable. The reality is that he is probably a little bit of both. His other reality is that he is a hairy dude and could probably use a shave.


Ben has had polarizing performances in PCTI. His prodigious performances in I, V, and VI are spoken of in hallowed reverence, while his performances in II, II, and IV left his team wanting. He has had many games where his talent has been responsible for leading his team to victory. He has also had a few games where his Sabin Productivity Score were negative. But whatever performance you get from this guy, he is really hairy and is always in need of a good shave.

Sabin