PCTI Super Bowl LIII comps

Time for a Super Bowl themed PCTI comps post, courtesy of Beast. Nobody gets Brady, sorry. 

The Rams: 

DAN - Jared Goff: The QB is always the leader of the team and Dan is the unquestioned (actually, always questioned) leader of PCTI. But this comparison is more about their shared career arc. Goff went from possibly being a bust to possibly being elite almost overnight. Dan had a similar trajectory, going from arguably a bottom-five player, to arguably a top-five player. Also, Goff famously admitted on Hard Knocks that he didn’t know if the sun set in the east or the west…Would it shock you if Dan didn’t know this either? 

HUCK - Aaron Donald: Both are immune to double teams, though coach Sabin chose to single up Kyle for much of last year, resulting in one of the most prolific stat lines in PCTI history. Don’t look for Bill Belichick to be as thick-headed when dealing with Donald. Physical specimens who have lived up to the hype, like Donald, not a lot is known about Kyle, other than he’s really, really good. 

SABIN - Andrew Whitworth: The easiest comp on the list. Whitworth is among the oldest players in the NFL and is considered the current player most likely to become a head coach upon retirement. How is Whitworth still around? Like Sabin, despite his age, he’s remained one of the best at his craft. Both are consummate family men and devoted fathers, as well as beloved teammates. Both also had their primes wasted by playing on trash teams. Whitworth with the Bengals (apologies to Donley) and Sabin to the Kittens and others. 

SMOOTH - CJ Anderson: Just like Smooth, Anderson was a late addition, joining the Rams in the last month of the season. Just like Smooth, Anderson appears to have done nothing in the way of training, despite knowing full well he was joining a group that would be in tip-top shape. Yet neither seems to care that they’re out of shape. They know they can play, they know they’re only needed in limited roles and they’re completely comfortable taking opportunities as they come with the utmost confidence. Do they care that they look like bums or that they’ll only play half the game tops? Not even a little. Probably wouldn’t want it any other way. Are they strangely effective? Yep. 

BRUISER - Nndamoken Suh: How much could I destroy Bruiser by comparing him to some soft offensive player? I’ll pass on the chance. Suh and Stick Man both are big, strong and crave physicality. Both also take special treatment and a team that is willing to cater to their idiosyncrasies. Suh washed out of Detroit and Miami. Bruiser does best surrounded by ‘his guys.’ Despite that neither are plug-and-play from a culture fit perspective, both are considered immensely talented and both are noted for being good teammates. 

BEAS - Sean McVay: McVay may be the only figure in sports who has built a more bullet-proof reputation than Biz. Simply breathing the same air as the Rams’ boy-genius coach has advanced the careers of countless other coaches. Short of having a desk in the Oval Office, there may not be a more scrutinized or criticized career than NFL head coach and yet McVay can seemingly do no wrong. Likewise, Beas - himself singularly immune to comparative statistical analysis - could take a dump on the center circle and still get at least a handful of A/T votes. How do they do it? Certainly a proven track record of success is a big part of it. But soo to is looking damn good in the moment. Sex sells. 

TP - Todd Gurley: From a fringe MVP candidate in consecutive seasons to, “wait, is Todd Gurley active? Did I miss something?!” The recent career arcs of both TP and Gurley are strangely similar. Both have to be injured, right? To each’s credit, they never blame the injuries and are quick to take blame and praise teammates. When  either is healthy they can swing games in a moment. 

The Patriots: 

BEAST - Julian Edelman: Both are ruggedly handsome and annoyingly above average in terms of consistent. Edelman has made a career out of five straight weeks of six catches for 65 yards followed up by 11 catches for 140 yards and two touchdowns. Both guys walk around mouthing off and generally carrying themselves like that 11/140/2 guy when the rest of the world rightfully sees them more so as 6/65/0. 

JUICE/PISS ANT - Chris Hogan: Both guys are known for being relatively new to the sport. Hogan famously played lacrosse in college before trying football his senior year. Juice allegedly was sub-five feet for much of high school and thusly didn’t find his way on to a basketball court until sometime in college. (Good thing he had that best friend in HS to kick it with instead of hooping…you know, that guy who allegedly exists and is making us plan PCTI around his wedding). The Juice Man and Hogan capitalize on long, wirery frames and plus athleticism. With a little refinement, watch out. 

ACTOR - Rob Gronkowski: Both are goofy showmen who’s antics are accepted as, “that’s just Act/Gronk being Act/Gronk.” Teammates and outsiders are ok with the obnoxious behavior because both guys are experts at knowing exactly when to turn it off and go in to competition mode. It’s never a distraction and the competitive fire possessed by each guy is as evident as their love for dancing. Also, both guys have never played at 100 percent and are always nursing a random injury to a seemingly different body part every year. Both guys are among the best at their position and have been for a long time. Both guys also publicly flirt with retirement each off season. 

ABE - Josh Gordon: While with the Browns Gordon had among the best seasons ever for a wide receiver despite later admitting that he routinely played games while high. Need I say more? Both are absolute size/speed freaks. Thankfully, Abe seems to have an exceedingly better mental chemistry than Gordon and unlike Gordon has been able to keep his life on the rails (thus far).

SPOTLIGHT - Drew Bledsoe: Both are tremendously popular ex-pats. Bledsoe’s career was cut short by injury and younger players stealing his shine. Spot is in the midst of a similar arc as he deals with a two year journey of injury, fatherhood and MAGA. Here’s hoping (and guessing) that unlike Bledsoe, Spot has plenty left in the tank and more good days ahead. Working in his favor, a Tom Brady doesn’t seem to be lurking in the log jam of PCTI’s younger wings.  

HOPS - Devin McCourty: McCourty is among the least appreciated Pats, despite being a core piece of several championship teams. He shows up, does his job on defense at a high level, quietly leads and stays out of the limelight. Hops uses a very similar recipe. McCourty has transitioned between outside corner, nickel corner and safety in his career. Similarly, Hops has helped balance big teams with wing play or smaller lineups by shifting to the front court.

DONLEY - Cordarelle Patterson: These two VFLs look like create-a-players and always ace the eyeball test. The challenge is finding the way to best tap in to the wide skill set. Belicheck has lined up Patterson all over the field on offense and special teams for the Pats. Versatility is never a negative but it can pose usage challenges. We’ve seen the same with Don, who needs the right pieces around him to be at his best. 

SMO - Brian Hoyer: By most accounts, Brian Hoyer should be out of the NFL. Twice failed as a starting QB, that would spell the end for most players. But Hoyer was smart, rather than waiting for the league to realize his short comings, he saw it first in himself and retreated back to New England to be Tom Brady’s backup, a job he had served for years prior. Recognize your inefficiencies, position yourself as a last resort, be a great teammate to your friends and have no mental reservations with possible upward mobility, despite that you are likely a more than capable reserve who (if mental approach was shifted to believing in one’s self) could probably still perform at a higher level than some starters.  But why risk it? The bench is a safe place. And in Smo’s place, it’s also a good spot to take and make phone calls for Kool Logistics LLC.  

Bonus: 

DEUCE - Tony Romo: Very rarely does a member of the broadcast overshadow the game. Romo’s soothsayer tendancies have fans as excited for him as any of the Rams and Patriots. Those of us in PCTI can relate as Deuce, operating as the league videographer, has bent the main attraction for years.