Fox Business News -- Dallas, TX -- September 24, 2011
In a stunning development that could have significant adverse consequences, Josh Stephens, the recently elected captain of the PCTI basketball team Breaking Bad, lashed out at his teammates earlier this week for a perceived lack of basketball chemistry. Apparently, Stephens fears that his team could succomb to the pressure that comes along with enjoying each other's company and playing unselfish basketball. Under condition of anonymity, but not fully realizing that the Internet is open to everybody, Stephens posted a blog and revealed the insidious nature of his team's lack of cohesion and disdain for one another. "All this chatter about my team's inability to get along is annoying me. I realized that Sabin took all the great teammates with his draft picks, but I didn't realize he wouldn't leave me with a single warrior to go to battle with".
In the last 48 hours, things have only worsened for Breaking Bad. Anticipating early on that his team would have trouble with some of the most disruptive personalities in the 3 year history of PCTI, Stephens mentioned "I've got 2 influential leaders in Brian and Hops that will keep things in check if need be". Some in the media have praised Stephens and his prescience for selecting these 2 leaders in anticipation of the firestorm to come.
Stephens began to rock his team's foundation by unnecessarily taking shots at his teammates in the media. One reporter read the blog and couldn't believe that Stephens printed "Pitto can singlehandedly ruin a game", while another read in disbelief "Ahop every once in a while misses layups". But the daggers didn't stop there. Stephens also mentioned that "Brian has a tendency to hurt himself" and that "Donley left a day early last year". Asked what he thought about the team's new PG, he produced a backhanded compliment, "Joe is undefeated at PCTI, and has the most brilliant smile in the history of mankind". When asked how Joe's basketball ability would mesh with his own, Stephens declined further comment. Some are speculating that there is tension between the two that could manifest itself on the court in April. Stephen's criticism didn't stop there though. He also was quoted as saying "I've been known to take bad shots and make bade decisions". Nowhere was this more evident than the PCTI draft, insiders are claiming.
Asked if there was anything positive he could say about any of his teammates, no matter how small, Stephens did find the courage to say "BC is a spectacle of nature". Some have questioned whether this was a compliment at all as Stephens clearly mixed metaphors while describing Carney.
What makes the accusations that much more stinging is that Stephens hardly seems to care about the outcome of the pending basketball tournament. After ripping his teammates in public, he then went on to add confusing statements like "I love my team", "I wouldn't have it any other way" and "I believe and trust in everyone I picked". Although basketball experts are not sure what he meant by these contradictory statements, some are claiming that it is just a transparent attempt to get his teammates to pass him the ball for extra FGAs. When asked about the likely outcome of defeat in the upcoming tournament, Stephens said "My plane tickets are comped, so regardless of the outcome, it should be a great 3 day weekend for me!". Some basketball analysts have suggested that this type of leadership will not work in PCTI 3. This blogger's guess is that those analysts are right.
Stephens closed the controversial public humiliation of his teammates by responding to the idea that his team lacked the ability to overcome Team Legs Feed the Wolf, whose talented and cohesive roster is loaded with guys who do all of the little things necessary to win. "When all of those little things get added up, yeah, I guess it looks bad for us". Stephens is reportedly hiding in the mountains of Colorado, most likely to avoid the shitstorm that awaits when his teammates see him in Dallas. It is unknown if Stephens will ever blog or email again.
No comments:
Post a Comment