Countering the hype, self-flagellation, and a review of Fruit's performance

NO ONE is worse at taking compliments than Spot, so let me be the first to say I shot a decidedly average percentage this weekend, which definitely declined as I got tired, made a few embarrassing live ball turnovers, and gave little effort when it comes to off-ball defense and general stanciness, loose ball situations, and (as Dany begrudgingly but correctly pointed out) general rebounding. In other words, I'm projecting at or above PCTI-average.

Now, what everyone is waiting for, MOAR DANNY.

First stop, MIDRANGE. It was all or nothing for the Fruit this weekend, as he knocked down multiple contested 12-14 feeterz in face up situations, grilled up on the blond ponytail who guarded him most of the morning. Not wanting to show me too much, and out of general good heartedness towards Sunshine, he also airballed about six of those Js.

Second, FACILITATION. He remains a savvy passer with above average court vision for a player so devilishly (handsome) low to the ground. Lowlight to be noted, when he overthrew me on an outlet (that might have led to my first ever dunk...) by a solid 6-8 meters.

Third, MOVEMENT. One word: nonexistent. I've never seen someone without a major injury or geriatric physique move so little on a basketball court.

Fourth, REBOUNDING. We'll end on a good note here for DOMNOCS. He was a MENACE on the offensive boards. Note to Team Sabez, don't put me on him I have no desire to touch people. Especially people who sweat so much.

Overall, I give Dan a 5 on the standard Spotlight 11 point scale for friendship for the weekend. He can't possibly be higher because I took him to my favorite Moroccan brunch spot and he ordered yogurt with granola instead of one of the five different types of Eggs Benedict they offer.