Curb Your PCTI

I must apologize, I have slowed down in posting in hopes that others would get their shit together and take 15-20 min and blast out something. In fact, I have been feeding people ideas to post, knowing that they can do a better job with it and also people like hearing from them more than me. Well DK and Ben are really the only ones who stepped up. Which to be honest they didn’t “step up” because they are two of 5 people who post regularly (the list is myself, DK, Ben, Sabin, and Joe). Of course I’m not going to get into people’s jobs, social lives, love for PCTI, or access to the internet, and I’m not going to be mean about it. I’m just going to let everyone know if you have not ever posted, or even just once (over these 11 months!) that I am disappointed in you. Anything else would hurt me more than it would hurt you.

Now that I got that out of the way, this is one of many posts that I will be cranking out before PCTI. If you have an ideas and no time (aka no testicular fortitude) to write it, give it to me as I may run out of ideas (doubt it since creatively I’m a genius). This one is in honor of one of the most hysterical shows of all time: Curb Your Enthusiasm. This might also why I have become known as an asshole, because I want to be just like Larry David and not hold anything back. This will be a two part column and where I give the weaknesses (Part I) and strengths (Part II) of each player participating in PCTI. I will try to be as honest as possible, even though I’m not the person who should pick anyone’s game apart; I hope Brian will agree on most of this (you know since he is PCTI Einstein). I will proceed in alphabetical order by last name.

Beasley – This is going off my knowledge from the times we played up at UT, so who knows what has changed. Not the strongest ball handler against pressure. Streaky shooter. Biggest weakness for PCTI: conditioning. He wasn’t in bad condition when he was at UT, but he has been out for a couple years, and no one is ready for the physical pounding one takes his first go round at PCTI. International women.

Carney – Has a temper and lets it get the best of him at times. Hard time going right. Gets his mind made up to do something (ie drive to the basket) and decides to do it regardless of the factors going against him. Dogs.

Donley – Doesn’t insert himself (literally and figuratively) enough. Has been known to abandon his team. Not the quickest feet on defense. Driving.

Eskildsen – Friend to Pitto (it could stop there but he gives him undeserving passes on his defense). He has developed an outside shot but is still very hesitant to take it. Injury prone.

Hopkins – Gets rushed easily. Takes terrible shots if he has made a couple (See: Walker, Antoine). Takes too many chances on passes. AT&T commercials. Has become slow footed while thinking he is still able to defend quicks. Conditioning.

Krow – Disappears for stretches on offense. Slow footed at times on defense. Not a threat on offense outside of a solid 15 footer and efficient passing. Doesn’t get to the line (at all. No really zero times in 13 games). Trying to match Pitto in style.

McKinney – Speaking. Disappears for stretches on offense. Does not assert himself on the boards.

Murray – Too nice. Conditioning. Food. Conditioning. Doesn’t drink. Conditioning.

Orr – Too passive (pun) in the post. Can’t venture out on the perimeter on offense (and some on defense). Ball handling. Durability. Good looks.

Pitto – Stalkers with “absolutely gorgeous eyes” (his words). Defense. Effort. Being a good teammate. Size.

Sabin – Pushing the ball with no support. Age. Isolating himself from his team. Motivational emails.

Spotlight – Only played twice with him. Too much attention from fans. Not explosive. Gets “3 happy”. Can get caught up in his own brand.

Stephen – Gets too rushed on breaks. Not the strongest passer. Takes bad shots at times. Goes long stretches without hitting the boards. Cougars.

Thompson – Show boating. Humor when it comes to Sabin. Dealing with Sabin. Rivalries. Occasionally takes questionable shots. Picks and chooses to play hard on defense. Carli.

Van Horne – Confidence in his outside shot. Conditioning. Referring to himself in 3^rd person after missed shot. Drinking. Free throws.

Wilson – Body hair. Conditioning. Absent for stretches of the game. Terrible defender. His affection for AHOP. Hipster music.