Lost Files Re-Visited

In one of the more deviously diabolical schemes in PCTI’s history, I planted a PCTI-approved recording device on DK’s phone which allowed me to intercept the recent basketball dialogue that Eskildsen’s team had. The following is the word-for-word transcription of said dialogue, without the least deviance or variation. It certainly helped me to gain insight into his team’s thinking, and hope it will for you as well:

 

Abe: I can’t wait to beat Joe and become the only undefeated player in PCTI.

Hops: I know, right? That team sucks. I mean, all they really have is 5 guys who can get you 20 points in any game.

Pitto: Yeah, Joe’s such a bad drafter that he didn’t even consider drafting me. I mean, who doesn’t want me on their team?

Eskildsen: Hang on a second guys. Maybe we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves. I mean, they are big and strong. And they have a bunch of guys who are mean assholes. And they do have some guys who can get buckets in bunches. Maybe this won’t be as easy as we originally thought….

Entire Team: Shut the fuck up, Coach! We’re just better than them!

Smo: I know I fouled out of every game last year fellas, but I think I’ll be able to cause defensive problems for their bigs.

DK: Yeah, because of your incredible length and help-side defense. Plus, McKinney is gonna be huge for us this year. I know I say that every year, but this year I believe it.

BMac: I believe in myself….I believe in myself…I can do it….I’m better than 7 and 4 on 37% no matter what 17 games of stats say!

Beas: Well, at least we have the point guard position settled. I’m runnin’ the one guys.

DK: Maybe you don’t realize that I’m the best PG in PCTI history, young fella. I’ve got the lead.

Pitto: Then how am I gonna get to dribble the ball 28 times before I give it up? When I’m done dribbling, then you guys can have it.

Abe: You clowns need to pipe down. That ball is gonna be shot by me long before you jokers get to think about handling it.

Esk: Wouldn’t it be best if I orchestrate this year, guys? Remember, 20 passes before we turn it over or jack up some 3 pointer we can’t make. Turn down good shots early in the possession in favor of worse shots later on. I am a coach after all.

Abe: You can take 20 passes and shove it up your ass. I may not make 20 passes in the whole weekend.

Hops: At least we are the better team. We know it and they know it.

Esk: Wait, what are we so over-confident about? I drafted a bunch of guys who score 7 points per game along with PCTI’s resident volume shooter and Antoine Walker-imitator Abe. Holy Shit! I just realized I screwed up my draft for the second time. Crap!

Pitto: I know…I was wondering why you drafted me in the third round ahead of much better players when you could’ve drafted me last. I mean, didn’t you know that Joe hates me?

Hops: Don’t worry guys. We have chemistry and they don’t.

DK: What do you mean? Their whole team hates our Captain, you, and Abe now that he put us in the over-dog role. By the way, thanks Abe. Moron.

Smo: Relax guys. I’ll just makes some jokes before the game and that should give us a false sense of basketball chemistry.

Entire Team: Shut your pie hole, Smo. You’ve got enough on your plate with a pissed-off Bruise staring you down.

Beas: Dammit, I knew this was gonna happen. I wish I was back on Sabin’s team. Now that guy knew what leadership was about. Maybe I can still get a trade…

Hops: Screw you, Beas. You’re out of Quad Pod. Now we’re just the Tri-Pod.

Pitto: Can I take his place?

Hops & Abe: Hell no! We’d rather have Sabin in the pod! Speaking of, anybody got his number?

DK: Inaudibly thinking to himself….“Maybe I can get a trade too. I’ll talk to Joe tonight.”

BMac: Anybody know any scorekeepers we can get for the tourney?

Smo: So a guy walks into a bar and……

Eskildsen: I hate my team. Inaudibly to self….“Maybe I can get packaged in a deal with Danny….”