Friday, January 26, 2024

Will He?

As I sit here in my parents sauna (where you aren’t allowed to drip sweat, true story) and Christian Ponder PCTI, I started thinking about important questions…

Beast: Ever earn his nickname? We have beaten this to death, but the reality is he hasn’t averaged over 5 rpg since rebranding as the Beast, and there’s never been a more important year for him to do so. 

Smooth: Find his demon to motivate him? The screws are always loose in this brain, but the implementation of how it motivates is another story. Will Smooth find the right comment to set him off and motivate him? Many factors are required… Has to be authentic. Has to be timed perfectly. Has to be before he gets tired. Goodness gracious.

Dan: Play hard? PCTI’s beached whale loves to screen but not role, won’t move without the ball, and doesn’t play help defense… But what a teammate!!!

Beas: Touch a ball? Having a good body is great, and he definitely has one, but will he break his PCTI conditioning routine and incorporate a couple shooting sessions?

Spotlight: Return to form? One of PCTI’s most closet competitive guys, will he return to form as a premier shooter and ball movement guy after a long layoff?

Donley: Build on momentum? Not sure anyone’s ticker is trending more upwards right now… We know he’s going to bring it full throttle. No one finds open shots better, if the shots keep falling at the rate they currently are, The Don is going to the top of the guard cluster. 

Smo: Care? No one has stacked a better (and longer) off-season then old Smo. Can he complete his resurrection after almost three years off? His issue has always been apathy, and that appears to be gone. Would be a huge boost if he could pair up with the Beast and formulate a Psychological Bash Brothers duo. 

TP: Take the leap? Teetering at the top of the pecking order, will he complete the power struggle and bump Kyle off his tower? We know Kyle won’t hand it over easy, but maybe the mental midgets Kyle’s playing with this year will do the dirty work for TP.

Hops: Get unhot? An unprecedented run the last few years in all ways PCTI. Whether it be on the court, off the court, or aesthetically, all things are clicking to the point that he’s co-captaining the first team ever centered around beauty… Can it continue at such a rapid rate?

Abe: Ever regress? How many straight years has Abe been in the top three in points, rebounds and assists? How many straight ATT selections has he stacked? Has he ever been in single digits points? Going on his 14th year, he’s as solid and productive as ever. 

Juice: Get bullied? After receiving protection from the Alpha Academy in 13, will he be able to tackle a duo that’s haunted him for a long time? With Hops’s brawn and Beas’s speed, they can overpower Juice and he knows it… One thing we know about Juice, he’s not going to tweak his approach, so it will be interesting to see how this shakes up. 

Bottles: Buy a bottle? A lot of buzz about Bottles being in line for the BMAC Award this year, and I’m a big supporter of that movement. That being said, he’s going on year 3, and still no bottles. To his defense, Seattle doesn’t have people and Tahoe doesn’t have bottles since it shuts down at 10, but this year there are no excuses. 

Deuce: Show any signs of physical, mental, emotional regression? Seriously, when is this guy going to slip even just a little? 

Sabin: See synergies between his bench press increases SPERM increases? A very unconventional off-season for Sabin where he uses a narrative to drive him into his next PCTI, then support it with random strategy. Last year he lost his legs, so he combated that with a heavy dose of upper body strength improvements. Will that strategy yield increases in SPERM?

Virgil: Lift his team? This team invested a high pick in a bucket getter, and if he gets them like he did last year, let alone more as he gets comfortable, it could be lights out for a very slow, methodical team Ugly. 

Kyle: Handle the glass? Very sensitive to rebounding feedback, Kyle will not only be asked to handle the scoring duties, but also the rebounding ones as he’s surrounded with the worst rebounding guards and bigs as teammates. Juice is his next best option on the glass based on numbers. Good luck buddy. 

Ben: Stay Healthy? It seems the former Sick Boy has gotten in a good place, and it showed last year. But there’s a substantial amount of data that shows that Ben’s productivity fluctuates depending on how he’s feeling. He’s had years at the top of the pecking order, and he’s had some down piggy backing off side effects from a Z-Pack, cramps, and I’m sure others. Let’s hope it’s a healthy year, followed by an MVP award.