Movie Twins, Part 3

1)      Ben Wilson – Cal Naughton, Jr., Talladega Nights

Best friend and teammate of Ricky Bobby, ½ of the electric duo “Shake-n-Bake.” Naughton became famous for driving fast, making 4 left turns, and shaking opponents before he bakes them. Similarly, Wilson rose to prominence in PCTI for dropping huge double-doubles, driving fast to the bucket while almost always going left, and usually providing a shimmy shake before he bakes a defender to get buckets. Wilson has also developed a new best friend and teammate in BC, and I hope that when they are playing together in IV that we get a few “Shake-n-Bake” references from them. No word yet on whether Wilson intends to steal BC’s woman like Naughton did to Ricky Bobby. But I can tell you this…Wilson is one of the only cats in PCTI that has the ability to be formal, but he can also let his chest hair down so he can party. In fact, when I think about Wilson and BC, I think it’s fair to say that these two go together like skateboards and freeway ramps. “I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a Tuxedo T-shirt, 'cause it says, like, "I want to be formal, but I'm here to party too." I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.”

 

 

2)      Josh Pitto – Mark Zuckerberg, Social Network

Talented yet socially-offputting Zuckerberg takes a billion-dollar idea and implements it to make himself famous, even though he ruins relationships along the way. However, the idea that became Facebook ultimately became a phenomenon and a way of life for many people. Likewise, the enigmatic Pitto conceived the idea that became PCTI and takes pride that it has become a way of life for 16 junkies across the country. Time will tell if Pitto decides to cultivate relationships instead of shun them, but this is exactly the quality that makes him intolerable fun. “You know you really don't need a damn forensic team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook."

 

 

3)      Wes Murray – Zack Galifinakis, The Hangover

For a while, Alan Garner described himself as a “one-man wolfpack.” But he connected with Bradley, Ed, Justin, and Ken at just the right time to form perhaps the most devastatingly debaucherous group in all of Las Vegas. Comparably, Wes has spent some time in his PCTI career being a one-man wolfpack, refusing to participate in PCTI-wide email exchanges and blog submissions. However, his recent unification with Team  Joe and the Bash Brothers has brought this wolf in from the cold so that he can enjoy what will no doubt be a debaucherous team in Scottsdale. Both Garner and Murray know how to rock a beard. And if only Galifinakis could learn the art of the unnecessary and illegal boxout, these two would be damn near inseparable. "You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!"

 

 

4)      Spotlight – God, Bruce Almighty

Morgan Freeman plays God in an attempt to get Bruce (Jim Carrey) to lead a more meaningful and impactful life. He does this in a way that allows Bruce to see his own flaws and make adjustments from there. Similarly, Spotlight enlightens others with his conversation from a well-travelled life full of experience and wisdom. He enlarges the soul just by spending time with him and he makes us all want to better men. Also, both God and Spotlight only have one name and that’s pretty cool. Both make the ordinary seem extraordinary, God with his creation of life and Spotlight with his slapping up a 6 and 2 on the regular. “Parting your soup is not a miracle, Bruce, it's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, that's a miracle. People want Me to do everything for them, but what they don't realize is, they have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.”

 

 

5)      Sabin – Les Grossman, Tropic Thunder

Less Grossman is a ruthless, relentless, obsessive, and amoral studio executive who is disliked universally by all, except for the few who appreciate his one redeemable quality (ability to make money). Les rules his environment with poetic obscenities, direct criticism, and best of all….name-calling. His intensity is legendary and his ferocity of personality is second-to-none. Likewise, Sabin is disliked by almost all except those who love his pick-up game and share his fanaticism for basketball. I have also developed my cursing skills over the years and am somewhat proficient at name-calling. I’d like to finish this post with maybe the greatest movie quote of all-time: “First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

 

 

 

Sabin